Sounds like we can relate because my H is also a cake eater. You can see my sitch under infidelity. I'm trying my best to deal with this myself and to not allow him to cake eat but its so hard when you do want their company. H and I have separated now for 4 months and Ibelieve he lives with OW although he denies it. OW woman apparently had no place to stay and he found them a place and long story to go with all that. Anyway, now that I've refused to argue anymore with him, we've started back being friends and he has started back talking in "we" terms etc. So last week I went dark and he was the one on the pursuit. I think you should try it. I only contact him when he contacts me and sometimes I just let it ring out. The other day I went out with a girlfriend of mine and I even turned my phone off. Oh, H is calling me as I write this. Too funny. But I'm not goign to answer... we already spoke this morning, heheheh. Anyway, in the past I was going dark only when we argued or I was mad at H but after new year's I decided to stop pursuing him i.e. calling/texting and only talk when he calls and still keeping a distance when he calls. Also, I make sure I don't answer all of his phone calls. I think my H thinks I will always be there waiting, so I feel I need to some a 180 on him on that. Have you read Divorce Remedy... it is fabulous. I am now trying so hard to not make it the case that H can have me and OW and I would become the mistress, no way. But I do miss him and at the same time I don't want to push him too far away. So I'm a bit confused as well. But I know I want him to want me and he is showing signs. I realized this weekend that I need to pull the rug from under H and since I'm not interested in dating other guys, I think I will make up a friend. I don't want to tell H anything about the OM, I know he has to come over this weekend so I plan on buying myself some roses. I feel its time H has some competition. I think you also need to try something different too. Our H's know they have the emotional hold over us and they are using it. We love them but we have to try to break that belief that they have 100%. So, that's my goal at least. I don't like H thinking that I will always be there waiting for him to figure things out with OW. So I'm looking forward to this. H has never has to compete for me and I've read that men like to compete so I'm so excited to see what happens. I figure what do I have to lose, we're S anyway, right? Like DR said, try something new and see the results you get. Good luck.
