Good day, thinking abou ther but it is not overwhelming or driving me nuts. Just thoughts, thats all. traveling tomorrow, line dancing lessons tonite. It was tough getting through the day without wanting to drive by her palce, see if her car is still riding on a spare and what not. I am breaking myself of doing this.
I am a lot more at peace with myself. I feel stronger, emotionally and mentally today. Glad this thing with the woman friend ended nicely and I just let it be known that I really am not interested in anything like a realtionship right now. Friends all wanna fix me up and I have asked them, nicely, not to. told them I would let them know when I am ready.
25year I read your latest post to me several times. I know I haven't been at this long, and God knows I don't want it to go on any longer, but there is the reality of what is going on. Yeah, the 55 vs. 45 thing is there.. Its like your situation. My kids are split over their feelings and when I talk to some of their close friends, well, she doesn't come out in a very good light. even what they call her, which I will not repeat here. Its pretty bad. I have read that she may stay in this R with OM because she knows the road back is a lot of work and thinks staying the course with him, no matter how its going. I don't think she is really aware of the lack of connection with my kids. she calls to have D17 come to her house m-th as I had posted. d17 isn't exactly energized when I pick her up.
She definitely has her eyes closed to everything except her "good times". Then again maybe she does and this is just her now. I hope not because she will lead a very closed lonely life down the road. There is no time frame of when they recover, last in MLC, or anything, there ar eno exacts in this. I talked with someone last night who went through it. He moved on after his wife asked for a divorce and walked out on him. He ended up in a great job, making super money. Sold his house due to the court agreement and split it with her. She pissed it all away in 2 years, every last cent. They have been divorced for 5 years or so, he is in a good relationship with a woman he lives with. she is bouncing between friends and family. the scary thing here is that she was just like my wife. She woke up too late. He is happy and has nointerest in her, not even hearing her name. He hasn't talked to her in about 2 years. She drinks heavily, looks like she aged about 20 years. She is what they refer to as the "Bar Slut". No one takes her seriously and she is used terribly. He asys he can't stand the thought of that as they were together for almost 20 years. She left because she was unhappy. she needed to find herself.
He told me all the things he tried to win her back away from all her boyfriends. Nothing worked he said. He said I am doing the exact opposite of what he did and he had heard that what I am doing works. She tries to contact him and he doesn't reply or respond. He said she did so much damage to him and the kids, that he doubted he would even go to her funeral. Hard hard emotions in this guy., He gave me one big boost. he told me she woke up out of the blue one day and tried eveything to contact him, showed up at his house, called his family, text and emailed bomb the crap out of him. He never replied. Her mother told him she woke up one morning looked in the mirror, and cried when she saw how much her "happy " life had aged her. I have seen her in the past year and she looks haggard. He also told me that the biggest problem with her is she felt that she had given everything to everyone and her time was due. she felt owed. And he laughs now saying, she is owed alright. she is a tramp, who had everything. I would have given her the world and then some. she felt I was holding her back. she is driving her mothers car. she can't get a loan because she detroed her credit, she has filed for bankruptcy, I mena she is sad.
He told me to hold my line. don't give up, he told me he knows what she means to me. don't listen to other people. That was a big downfall for him. He said if it feels right for you to be where you are, stay there....If she files, you will know its done, walk away, head held high, because when she falls it will be monumental and it will be all her. He says they never understand the dmage they do, and when they do, they live in denial and start the blame game allover again. He feels bad for me and says it most likely won't be much longer. He says her realitiy is probably not as strong has his ex was. but you never know. Don't give in, don't give up, listen to your heart, not your head. Remember who you are, what you have done and where you want to be. And then go there. Nobody can take "YOU" away for "YOU".
