I do see Hope's wife trying. Any woman, who has done what she did, and came back to the marriage is trying. She came back, knowing that others know what she did (her kids even)and she has faced those people. She is trying. Hope has given her truth darts and she has listened, and many times looks down (it hits her inside). Showing that she is trying is hard to do, because for a FWAW it is mostly all emotional/head stuff that she is wrapping her mind around. Women are made that way.
Puppy, I see how seeing the trying is important to once LBS. You may have to tell her what you are wanting to see so she can try to work on this. The thing I see is that Hope is wanting these things, but is not telling his w specifically what he is needing, and is not having any relationship talks. Women don't just "do" things, they "feel" things first. She is working on the feelings inside and trying to let the doing follow. The last post, hope, shows how she has is changing. You even see this, but it isn't enough now or something.....HD spouses feel this emptiness physically, the same way FWAW feel this emptiness emotionally. BOth need to work. There is no quick fix. Communication is key. Retrovaille will be just what you need, Puppy. HOpe, maybe Retrouvaille is something you need to ask your wife to do for you since what you both are doing isn't working. Or, maybe stop the "no relationship talks" rule. It's been long enough. I don't believe she is the only one that doesn't want to talk about the R anymore.
