I am glad you a had a wonderful weekend. Your situation sounds promising. I also agree with quote from phoenixdeux and like you struggle with the disengaging part.
My split is more recent than yours, but my XW has taken a somewhat similar path. She is constantly drinking and partying as much as possible, to the extent as getting babysitters on her nights with d5. She just recently started hanging out with OM’s. From what she has told me, she is not ready for a R with anybody and is sick of her friends and family constantly trying to fix her up. Who knows maybe she is just telling me this because she knows that’s what I want to hear. She has told me that she will never get married again.
I can tell you she comes from a very troubled childhood, and was abused as a child. To the extent I am not sure. She has never shared this with me. Which is a mistake I have made, I never pushed because I didn’t want to bring up bad memories. Therefore she never has healed from these and held them in. Six months before the bomb she started going to counseling and old memories from her childhood started coming out and she was a changes person. I didn’t know how to deal with the situation. I simply tried to fix things or ignore things instead of just listening.
Also she married very young(20), and most of her friends are still single. So in part I think she is trying to go back and live the partying life style that she feels she missed. She also has several friends who are in horrible M and I think she is trying to show them they can make it on their own.
With that said, I think the best thing for me to do is stand up and be the strong person she fell in love with long ago. I am normally never a depressed person. Through this whole process, I have been weak, depressed, sad, etc…. As my post said, I am not going to look back. I am going to move forward. In my heart, I know that I am her soul mate, and I am the best partner for her. I hope someday she will feel the same way, but for now I am working on living my life to the fullest. To me that’s spending as much time with my daughter, finishing all the projects I have wanted to complete and never had time, exercising, hanging out with close friends…..
Keep the faith!! One Goal! Thanks CZ me: 34 XW: 29 D: 5 T: 13 M:9 Dday: Sep 18, 08 joint legal and physical custody of child XW recently told me, she d me, cause she tought I would abandoned her!
