Okay...I'm really falling apart right now and I don't like it...I don't know why - but I am just feeling utterly devastated at the moment and feeling a pain like I've not felt before in all of this...I think it was brought on partly because she finished moving her stuff out of the garage while I was out of town - so her mother must have helped her to that - and having more of her stuff gone just made me feel like this keeps getting worse and worse...and like she really is just determined to take herself out of my life/our life...and I know that I have to accept that - and I know that there is nothing I can say or do to change her mind...I think part of me just had the naive hope that coming by to get the rest of her stuff would give her pause - make her see more of the consequences of what she is doing...but it just seems like she continues to pull away...and I have no choice but to accept it.
My goodness - that feeling of being completely alone is just destroying me right now - drilling into me and making me feel like there's no way anyone can get through this kind of pain...how? how do I do it? I have been so strong - and I have tried to do so much and learn so much about loving her and letting her go - and accepting her journey as hers...but why now do I feel like something is just being torn away from me - from inside my heart? I know that I have to love her enough to let her go...I know that they're just objects that she took out of the garage...I am just so lost...so saddened...I feel broken...
