may be his "one true love"?

[runningoutoftime]

Being dark, and the amount of it, is something I agonized about as well.

First I think you need to consider yourself.

Are you emotionally detached enough? Are you able to avoid relationship talk? Be a great listener? Stick to impersonal "happy" subjects? Be positive and present an attractive personality? Are you able to have contact without any expectations? Will you be able to leave him with a "positive memory" of the encounter?

The ADs will help a lot. All you are doing to GAL will help as well...

What are your goals?

For me, my first goal was that my husband would want to spend more time with me and actually ask me to do something with him. Once he was past the "angry stage" (and I was past the "I wish I were dead" stage), I did encourage contact very carefully. I wanted my husband to want to be around me. That emotionally being around me would be a "comfortable," "non-demanding," pleasant place" he would seek to be. This was a very slow process. And I had to be very careful not to take the whole thing seriously because I didn't want to hurt myself by believing that he would want to reconcile.

Mentally I had to completely let him go of him and the marriage. But also be generous enough to be a friend. One thing that helped me with this is I considered my encounters with him as practice for any future relationships. I figured I wanted to become a woman no man would ever want to let go of, and I might as well utilize the relationship I had with him to try and create that in myself.

Had to transform from boring soccer mom to mermaid siren!