"What I am dealing with now, to me, makes no sense. So I spend a lot of time trying to figure it out. It affects my mood, my strength, my will to live my everyday. Maybe it shouldnt, but it does."
Spinning the wheels. Recalculating. NFC.
This is the hard part. I know what you are saying.
It will drain you. So.. maybe I live vicariously.. thru the people here.. but This is where I am.. kinda.
The situation may be different.. and the story may be different.. yet we share a "lock".
Just like "DB.com" you have to focus on what is "good" or "working".
Don't follow the "Drama".. seek the "comfort".
It is easy to get hung up.. and seek the "Drama".
"Now, it's...zero, nothing. I dont feel it. Maybe because he deosnt show it together with the fact that I have really changed and I need more. My H is like a piece of me."
This does not work.. never has never will.
From a logical stand point.. he cannot be a piece of you.. and you not feel it.
You can't give a bum a Euro everyday.. then come back to him 6 months later.. and ask him for one. He won't have it.
You have to lead the way "somewhere".
All I can really say.. is just back up some. Take the pressure off you. This is not a race.. or a pointed finger.
Look for what you need.. don't point out where he is leaving you lacking.
Expect to be disappointed. That is OK.
Sometimes.. we have to stand up for what we know. Even if we fail.
You know you want this to work. Don't jump into it with all the old tools. Don't jump into it with the new ones either.. they are more efficient.. and get the job done faster. Sometimes.. when you use the right tools.. and get the job done faster.. people wonder if they should be paying the same rate.
The people simply can't see the value in the service you are providing.
Show them the value of the tools you are working with.
Maybe they get it.. maybe they don't.
Good Morning...
Smile. Be you.
I wanna see it from "over here".
Now...
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
Afternoon! So.... did he read the letter yet? You wrote it (sent it?) on the Full Moon, which I found interesting. Mercury is now going backwards from the same day for 3 weeks, so will mess up communications and things wont become 'clear' until it moves forwards again beginning of Feb. All this seems to be taking so long, doesnt it? As soon as I feel I have accepted something, or reached a realisation, or I've turned a corner...up pops another corner, or another change of thought! Theres no 'end' in sight yet, mentally/emotionally.
I still think communication is the key (maybe with the help of the MC?). I wish I had better access to my ex, or he would have talked to me, or me to him. In your case.. he invited you out, but you said you didnt feel like going, but did you tell him WHY you didnt feel like going? I know, I know.. he didnt ask, why should you do all the work. I dont have any answers! But I can appreciate its a frustrating time.
I wonder what he made of your letter.. though he is so busy with work, I dont suppose he will respond soon!
I really am beginning to think it doesnt matter what any of us do/dont do (within reason!), what will be will be. We can all struggle like moths on a pin, but then, if something is meant to work out, it will.
Forrest I cant answer to your post. Sorry. There isnt much to say anyway. Only this:sometimes it is easy to see what we SHOULD Do, but doing it is much more difficult. YOu are asking me to stay detached and use tools that have some results. Well, I havent yet figured out what works with him.
He never responded to the letter. I read it again today and saw -since I am pretty calm now- that it was a letter I should have written here. Just to vent. It was full of obvious and hidden accusations. Nothing unfair or extremely mean, but it was straight forward and reading it made me sad.
So, I sent another one today. It was separated in paragraphs. Each paragraph was something I want and need, explanations and in a few cases possible solutions/examples. Among others I explained my need about the truth and what I expect to hear from him :start of the affair, duration, how, when, why, the end, why end, when etc. I explained in detail the symbolism of his actions to me and how important it is to me. This letter felt much better.
He called after I texted him around 15:30 and said he had read both and was soft and joking with me. Everytime I "say" it's over, he seems to soften up. At the last letter I finished saying I am now stopping with letters, urging him to read, think and act. I also asked him to TALK to me and make sure I understand his point of view. And that it would be a shame to miss this second chance since we got here.
We'll see, I keep my eyes open and hope to see somekind of progress... K
Hey, well done. Glad you are able to be open and honest and also glad that he was relaxed and 'soft' back!! I hope he is able to use some of the examples in your letter and come up with the goods,
Proud of you sis.