Sorry you are feeling hurt again. Did the hugs and the extra hugs help ease the hurt?
My H is also gone for a part of this weekend. I think the plan is he leaves mid day which means he will be gone before I get home from work. He wouldn't even come in the kitchen until I was out of there, and then kept his distance as I was leaving to the point of I just waved at him across the room and he said 'see ya'. It gave me a wave of hurt I haven't felt for a while. Still trying to decide if I should call him or just let him be an ahole.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
I don't think you should call him. If he does call, I wouldn't answer the phone. Let him wonder what you're up to. I've gone to movies when my W's gone away. I've gone to local bars and even restaurants alone. When she called my cell I would let it go to voicemail; unless the place I'm at is noisy.
I did feel better about the hug. At the same time I was frightened b/c I wasn't sure if she purposely moved the day up for another reason. The extra hug helped ease the fear.
She called my cell a few minutes ago. I was working on a project that needed my immediate attention. I could hardly hear her and I was more worried about the project than to talk to her. I told her I was busy and had to go. I don't think she understands how stressful my job can be.
In the beginning my job came first. My W got laid off from her job so she wasn't working. I was trying to keep my job and survived a countless number of layoffs. I would do overtime when ever I could to make up for the loss of income.
Now, I arranged my work schedule for her new position at work. I don't think my job comes first anymore. When I'm working at the office, I can chat until I get a call.
I only brought it up because of my fear of slipping back into my old ways. I know it would shake my wife if she came home and saw that I was playing on the computer, and she would more than likely be worried at the very least that I had tricked her by my changes. Worst case is that I had lied about everything. I suppose it could be worse I could have 2 emoty boxes of pizza next to the computer too...ahhh the good old days of being fat stupid and lazy.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
Fixer, you are an adorable man and a loving parent. It seems from what I have read that you are busy parenting your wife. Consider 'supporting' her less as she drags you and your little daughter toward bankruptcy or at least unreasonable debt.
She is taking cruel advantage of your love and good intentions. Or so it seems... your little daughter is watching you and trying hard to warn you.
Consider positioning yourself for full custody. Is that possible? If you re-invented and rescued yourself and your daughter, I am quite sure that your bratty wife would get wilder and wilder for awhile, but then she would flame out and reconsider her life choices. Or keep self destructing.
She does have a drinking problem, right? If you call it a Party Problem it sounds less destructive, but it is the same. It still costs your daughter her security.
I assume you are 30 something and talented. Get brave and help your family by telling your wife the facts of life... she does not get to trade kisses for enabling. Or hugs. She does not even kiss, right?
At one point, I've come to the same answers as you. I know she's immature and selfish. I see how destructive her behavior is to D10 and our family.
Today, before this email, I told her she was immature and needed to grow up. I said, "You sew what you reap in a marriage." "If your outside is like a stone, then any seeds you sew will not take root." I know what I said may have sounded biblical. Then I told her when D10 is eighteen, don't be surprised if I say goodbye. I said way things are going, when you need me I won't be there for you. I already know you won't be there for me.
Flicka, I'm 44 years old. I don't post it, b/c I value my internet privacy. The last kiss she gave me was over 5 years ago. Except for the one she gave me by accident 3 years ago.
I'm afraid not being in L has become my W's identity. She's the one her GFs feel bad for her b/c she's such a good person, but stuck in a bad M. When her F's see me, they can tell that I'm not a bad guy. Many people these days are out for what makes them happy. If my W is willing to go out when they ask, well who cares about Fixer. Since alot of her F's are selfish she always has someone to go out with. Yes, I told her she has a drinking problem, she tells me that she only drinks water when she doesn't have any money. But we all know acceptance is the first part of recovery.
I gave my W an ultimatum (bad DB'ing) today. If she goes on her vacation this August and things aren't better between us then I'm getting a divorce. Financially, she shouldn't be going and today she got another call from a creditor.
Her MLC is starting to physically affect me. I'm still in good health, but the stress is getting to me. You can only take so much of this up down before you don't want to get up anymore.
Hey Fix, if you can't stay in the fire anymore and are ready to force a change then go for it. It might backdraft on you or it might be just what W needs.
Don't be mean about it though, why start making a list of her faults now? Let it go if you can and move on without the war.
Those creditor calls are pretty good spoons aren't they?
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
