Pearl Harbour - I think you may be on to something but I agree with others that it has to be approached cautiously. I would hate to see you hurt more.
What about starting with some flirtation and gentle brushing by him touching, followed by sexy text messaging? If he initiates you will at least have the comfort and confidence to know that he wants it with you. Although it may end up being sex without a strong emotional connection.
Have you read Schnarch's "Passionate Marriage" - the real gist of the book is about differentiation, but he talks about it alot through the lens of sex. For example, I didn't know how important having "open eyes" sex is to ensuring an emotional connection between the partners (meaning ensuring that you and partner are making good eye contact).
And yes, frequency of sex was a problem in my m in the last few years although I now know what some of the reason was... long-term EA on my h's part. Don't blame yourself for all of it... it really does take two (except when you're by yourself!)
