Wow, I haven't posted on my thread in a couple of weeks. There hasn't been that much going on in my sitch...My H and I still have been spending some time together when time permits...I just have gotten tired of trying to analyze everything and figure out where we are at in all of this.
While on his trip at Christmas with his D, my H did send me quite a few text messages which was fine but when we got home, I lost it. I think I was frustrated because my H made no plans to spend New Years with me. I called him the morning after he got back and let him have it. I told him I didn't want to keep doing this. I told him that I want someone who wants to be with me and I cried. He came over that night and we talked some more. He later told me when he left that night he was done but he came back the next night (New Year's Eve). He was angry when he first got here that night but then loosened up. His initial anger had already made me angry though. He stayed the night with me and we both seemed to be over it by the time he left in the morning. We haven't had any real R talk since partly because my H has been busy with a trial and I'm just not wanting to put a whole lot of thought and effort into this anymore plus my new year's resolution is to no longer put my life on hold.
So, I'm working on a changing me but this weekend, I sensed a change in my H too. We went out Saturday night and had a great time together. He stayed over and in the morning he went to his apartment but he came back last night and stayed the night again. When my H came over last night, my H used the garage door opener I gave him months ago and pulled his car into the garage and shut the door. It felt so much like he lived here. I had no idea before he got here that he intended to stay over again. I really asked very few questions, I had no expectations and it seemed like my H was a little more relaxed.
Right now, I am really seeing how my H doesn't want any pressure about the relationship. He seems to do better when I don't ask questions and just leave him be. I'm wondering if MC might not be all that beneficial right now...maybe it makes me over-think things and puts more pressure on my H.
