Do you know that one of the causes of death of Eskimos in Anchorage is being trash compacted in a dumpster? Some Eskimos go in there to keep warm when they are drunk...and are compacted the next day.
To Jack..my favorite two names of towns in AK are:
1) Anuktuvuk (can you explain why?)
2) Eggegik
At the risk of boring you all, I wish to quote some text from a newsletter:
Quote:
Let's start with the worst case first, and work our way to the better ones. The worst case is the ex that became an ex because war was declared, and you got hurt and have never gotten over it. You talk about the relationship and the break-up all the time, even though it's been years ago. Have you noticed how people react?
Have you noticed that they tend to "glaze over," look at their watches, roll their eyes, and suddenly remember somewhere else they need to be or rather aggressively change subjects? If not, open your eyes, because they do exactly that, and it's costing you. People don't like hearing the same lament over and over, and they don't like being around people who harbor pain, depression, grudges, etc. It's a major respect and attraction-killer, and labels you as a wuss who can't deal with life and move on.
Face it, everybody goes through at least one bad relationship in their life, and they get over it. They learn how to better choose a girlfriend, wife, friend, business partner, employer, or whatever, and they move on to have a better life. If you're not doing it, the only thing keeping you from it is YOU. How you respond to past events is entirely YOUR CHOICE! Make the choice to accept reality and whatever responsibility is yours, stand up, dust off your pants, and step forward. If it was so traumatic that you need professional help, get it, and get it done. Life's too short to spend it looking backward instead of moving forward.
"But you don't understand!" you say. Oh yes, I DO understand. You loved her, you needed her, the sex was great, you really loved that job, you never thought that buddy would screw you over. You never thought you'd come home to find your brother or best friend in bed with your wife. You loved being self-employed, or having money, status, and respect. I've seen and heard it all. Lived through it, too. And I can tell you categorically that none of those things has anything to do with TODAY, unless you choose to let it.
There are lessons to learn from the bad things that happened to you. Stop lamenting the events and seek out the lessons. Learn them. Consign yourself to using those lessons to be more successful in the future. And relegate those events to the past and never, ever look back. The clock is ticking, and every second that passes can never be regained. You can spend each second looking back and wasting it or living a better life. It's your call. Let that choice and that ability to choose empower you to live a better life
Quote:
The next worst case isn't much better. It's the dependent that you can't quite get rid of. The ex-wife or lover that you're constantly having to bail out of a jam that they stupidly chose to put themselves in, the child who is well into adulthood that you keep bailing out, even though a person their age usually has a family, mortgage, and established a career, the ex-employer who either fired you and continues to call on you for help or the one you left that keeps leaning on you instead of hiring a competent replacement, any of which causes you to complain and be distracted when you're around people who currently really do matter to you and want to enjoy your company.
They don't like listening to you repeat the same laments and frustrations any more that you want to hear it out of them. It labels you as a push-over, another breed of wuss who just can't say "no," no matter how badly "no" needs to be said. You guessed it, another major respect and attraction killer.
People who don't want to be partners of some sort and share life with you, whether it's a wife, girlfriend, buddy, employer, business partner, offspring, or whatever, don't deserve to have you sacrificing yourself to their incompetence, delinquency, etc. Altruists around the world are cringing as I say this, but you know it's true. Your life is too short and too precious to allow yourself to be bled dry by a bunch of parasites who won't let go of your jugular vein. Let them keep themselves up instead of sucking you dry, Brother. Do you understand?
There are good people around you more than willing to share life with you, no matter who or where you are, so why cheat yourself and them of the great things you can do -- and BE -- together while throwing your life's energy away to these parasites? You'll find that when you do this, all you will attract are more parasites, as well as a few predators, because good, competent, independent people will shy away, not wanting your problem overload to spill over on them, while parasites and predators will be watching for a sucker like you to come along and latch on as soon as you give them an opening.
What impact do you think this will have on any relationships or marriage you might enter into? If the good people are steering clear of you and the bad ones have you targeted, well...it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see how that will turn out, especially when parasites and predators are masters of using guilt and a person's own insecurities to manipulate people into doing things they know better than to do. If this is you, you're going for ride after ride until you either choose to live better or they drive you all the way to the gutter. And again, the choice is yours, not theirs, so make the right one.
Now...I want to try something Jack did on Frank_d's thread.
[censored].
Hey..it works.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Well, then, any thoughts on where to go with my kids over winter break in Feb...for my (gulp) 50th?
To kml...you go girl. They probably thought you were just some hot babe (er...sounds like you are by the description...lol). You proved him right AND wrong..if you know what I mean.
WCW...thanks. So far, she has not pursued this any longer...at least for now.
I am in a better place as of today. I highly recommend, for some, to go back to DC's site and read the newsletters. They are empowering.
My next court date is 1/13 next week...unclear if it is going to be adjourned or not because the financial appraisal is not done yet. The female judge is gone and I will be having a more seasoned male judge. Who knows how that will work out.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Willing to bet #1 is the way it is pronounced. Sounds like it would be consored here. Or it means walrus pe nis. Or is that an oolunivk? <shrug> At least the launguage is more palatable than the food. Stink flipper? Really... I'd rather eat sewage.
You sound pretty damn good FIB. Thanks for the call, Sunday is a good day for me if you want. Otherwise tag.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
thread jack on Alaska continues....sorry FIB, but I'd add "Yakutak International Airport" to the list of great names/misnomers. International? Do they have daily flights to London or Dubai? Ummm, nope. I think there's one to Whitehorse, Canada...yep, that's international/foreign enough. Back to YOU FIB,
FIB, lovely post with the quotes. Really. (( j ))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Anuktuvuk...Eskimo....anuk=$hit; tuvuk=pass. Apparently this village is located between a mountain pass where the caribou migrate and leave their droppings as they pass thru.
Oh, yeah Jack..I think the word you are looking for is oospik. It is a bone found in the pe nis of polar bears (no....in humans there is no bone in there and, surprisingly, no muscle either).
My W is in anger phase again. My atty called this past Friday and claims her L will NOT agree to adjourn the next meeting until I/we do X, Y, Z. She called it blackmail and mailed it to the judge. The reason for the adjournment is because the financial appraisal is not done yet and they can't move forward until it is. Therefore, they are using the 'hit 'im in the pocket maneuver to make him comply since eash court meeting costs money. She therefore told me not to do X,Y, and Z and let the judge order it.
Normally, when the phone calls, I get:
W: Hi FIB..can I speak with D5 or S8?
Today, it was:
W: S8 please.
She hates my guts.
S'OK...I am in a better place, although, I know that when it is time to split I will be in a world of pain for my kids. FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
FIb, say it ain't so...no bone [i]OR[/i] muscle? Geez, what the heck is it? j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Seriously, the kids are already in pain. The m is "ill" and none of the treatments are working. It is what it is. Maybe someday, way down the road, your kids will see one of you in a healthy r. Maybe possibly, it'll be with each other, as that DOES happen in some cases. Your w may get help and may someday see things more clearly. You may also continue to grow as a man. Regardless, I seriously doubt you'll be alone all your life.
What IF, just what if, you find someone else down the road? What if you end up in a happy m? I mean, that has some value, doesn't it? Wouldn't that be something your kids could look to that is better than what they are seeing now?
Oh and by the way, what if they saw you happy, loved, and loving? Just asking j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
I still make HUGE mistakes. Last night, my STBXW returns from her mother's house with the kids.
Me: Hi D5, S8, XXX.
W: (with the most foul disgusted look of hatred) "SPARE ME THE WARM FUZZY GREETINGS!!!"
It was a mistake. I was in a good mood. It was patronizing considering where she is. There is no more room for greetings or niceties.
No, 25yearsMLC, this M is done....cooked....mangled....roadkill. It's not as painful anymore. I AM moving on. But the hate...the hate................... FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
