I've just read your sitch. So sorry you're going through this. I wanted to write to you because I feel like I'm almost at the same place. I have been waffling between trying to outlast my BF's A and cutting him loose. I think I've overcome my fear of being alone and know I can have a good life if I choose to start over without him. But I still love him and know that we could be happy together if we can get through this.
Being separated but living in the same house isn't much better than living apart. I also feel like we're growing apart every day without the physical touch and affection. I don't see how we can find our way back without doing things as a couple.
I get closer every day to letting go. The damage to self-esteem that you described is very real to me. While I have only been going through this for a few months I feel like I am reaching my breaking point.
I will be watching for any advice you get from others on how to have the talk.
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
