Thanks GB, we've always tried to parent together, even at the worst of times. D14 pulled another one yesterday, her mother collects a certain portion of the children's allowance to put away for their long term spending. This is to help them save for items they may want that cost a lot e.g. ipod or something similar. We both pay allowance on the weeks the kids stay with us but STBX collects the savings from the kids. D14 says "you're always chasing us for money, Dad never does" So once more Dad is the good guy and STBX the bad guy, even though the money is theirs and the reason for collecting it has been discussed with them. We also expect them to pay us back for items we purchase at their request which we don't deem necessities e.g. D14's makeup etc. So STBX phones me and tells me this is what D is saying that I never collect money from them for things I purchase for them. I told STBX that this is not true, sometimes I do choose not to collect for things I've bought them but only if they did not request those things or I may forget once in a while but I do collect for items I purchase for them. We agreed that in future I would collect the long term savings money from them when they stay at my place and she would do the same when they stay at hers. This way they see that both of us are actively participating in the collecting of money on a regular basis. Ahh yes, teenagers. STBX says "I may have overreacted when she said this to me" which would also be par for the course. STBX just can't walk away when a button is pushed and she makes it so damn easy for D14, at some point D has to get bored with it cuz it's just like shooting ducks in a pond, where's the challenge? I told STBX just to be careful in responding to her because "you know how much she loves to push buttons and twist things". So once business was finished STBX actually asked me how I was feeling as I've had a miserable cold the past few days. She then said "you sound a lot better than you did this morning, I hope you feel better soon" Whew, in 17 years of marriage I can only remember getting any kind of empathy when ill about twice! So, that was a welcome surprise. So that's it from the separated parenting front...for today at least.
I told STBX just to be careful in responding to her because "you know how much she loves to push buttons and twist things". So once business was finished STBX actually asked me how I was feeling as I've had a miserable cold the past few days. She then said "you sound a lot better than you did this morning, I hope you feel better soon" Whew, in 17 years of marriage I can only remember getting any kind of empathy when ill about twice! So, that was a welcome surprise. So that's it from the separated parenting front...for today at least.