I think I'm still doing very little for me. I'm still not getting the difference between chasing her and fighting for her, which is partly what I think she wants. I'm again at a point this morning where I just feel like I can't go on like this. I feel that our relationship is now an abomination; I feel like I'm in one of those crazy open relationships, and that is just not how I will live. I am committed to my W, but that commitment is not being returned, so I just don't know how long I can continue to live like this. I don't want my freedom, becuase even if she files for D I'm not going to get involved with anyone else as I'm just not interested in anyone else, but I can't sit back and allow my M/R to exist like this either. I feel it is absolutely sinful. I think I am going to write one final letter taking a firm but loving stand to see where she finally stands (I actually wrote her a letter this weekend, but I didn't give it b/c I wanted to think about it first).
