I've had a lot of things hit me since I last posted, so it has been difficult to get here to update. I'm also behind w/all of you, but I'll do my best to catch up this week.
As for me, school started again and I was dragging all week. The added pressure of reworking my lessons to be a better teacher helped stress me out, but the personal items were the biggest.
I made some calculation errors which resulted in my being overdrawn on my bank account w/out me catching it in time. So, the fees piled up and my small amount of money was eroded. The bank wasn't too sympathetic so I was stuck w/giving money to them. That is stressful.
Then someone tried to use my debit card to purchase $1500 of stuff from Nordstroms.com and Victoria's Secret.com. I got those reversed and filed the police report, but they were none the less very difficult issues.
Personally, the house is final and will be sold, but the buyer made sure to wait until the very last minute every opportunity she got to stretch everything out which led me to worry about finding an apartment to live and start moving my stuff. Well, I've got an apartment at last, but I've missed some time in trying to move items to it bit by bit, so now there is that headache of catching everything up.
So, I signed up for an apartment only to find out that I was rejected b/c of the incident w/my dogs this summer. That killed me too. The good news there is I was over-ridden by the corporate people and will be able to move in, but Saturday night and Sunday morning of not knowing was awful for me as well.
This is coupled by the fact I'll be out of town from the 17-23 in Washington,DC to see the Inauguration w/some students, so this week will be filled w/prepping for my substitutes, packing for my trip, signing into my apartment, and trying to get as much stuff over to the apartment before I'm at the airport at 5 am on the 17th! Yikes! A tough week indeed and some how I'll find a way to walk the dog daily and exercise for myself so I don't have a stroke.
To top it off there is the personal side. I did date the girl from New Years again and realize I just don't like her enough to want to see her on a regular basis. She likes me plenty, but it isn't mutual. That did get me thinking and I'm still not ready for a serious dating thing - or else I'm not blown away by my choices yet - so I'm not anxiously pursuing anything.
The sad thing is that deep down I still miss my XW. I know she's not all there and her being gone is a good thing for me. I realize that, but still, she was the one I was madly in love with and now she's gone, so it still hurts me deeply.
Yesterday was difficult as she and her BF came over to get things from the house and look things over before I start to move. Well, she was angry that I hadn't done everything so the "going through things" part would be easy on her. I'll probably have them over again as we'll join forces to do a garage sale on the Sunday after I get back.
While XW and BF were out buying boxes, D asked me "Daddy, who is your true love?" I told her it was her and she said, "No it isn't. It is mommy." I responded that mommy loved (BF) now and D said "But she still likes you and she's still your true love." I really didn't reply as I was trying not to cry.
My 5 1/2 year old daughter gets it and she is right. XW is my true love and I'm still hurting from this whole thing. I think the holidays combined w/the emotions of finally leaving this house have led to my current feelings, but I know they are real and I'm so looking forward to moving ahead w/my life.
I need a fresh start and all of this can't come soon enough.
