I don't see it as balck and white as you guys, I really don't. I've been seperated for 10 months now and my W was obviously unhappy for a lot longer than that. My D could take another year or more so I don't believe you put your life on hold for that long if you feel ready. I'm not saying it's going to become something proper serious with MOT35, but at the same time, she in a similar boat to me and done for a long time, I do not feel it's innapropriate to anyone but our kids.
Also, I imagine, like the end of my M, it was a pretty much affection and sexless M for a time and I don't think I'm out of line to think going without much physical connection for the best part of 18 months is a long time....I'm only young !!!!
By all means 2x4 me and Mike, you do not need to keep saying your not judgin, I know bruv, I know. I feel I'm against the general DB principle on this front, but then I think a lot of others get to this point to. I have massive respect for the way you handle things yourself, but I'm obviously a bit different here. I would accept I was wrong if I was sleeping with anything that moved, but I'm not, I'm getting to know someone, we get on and we haven't even slept together yet. I think I've said many times, I don't get the one night stand scene, it would have to be with someone I liked and was comfortable with. (Maybe next wekk !!!)
oh, and finally viewing a place today with a mate. I'm relying on him to want to go for it as I cannot afford a 1 bed place, but from description, this place sounds awesome. 3 beds and all recently refurbed and like 1/2 the price a 1 bed would cost me (assuming we get a 3rd person) and about 2/3rds what a normal 2 bed would cost 2 way.
Throught MOT35 friend so no deposit or references needed either
I don't see it as balck and white as you guys, I really don't. I've been seperated for 10 months now and my W was obviously unhappy for a lot longer than that. My D could take another year or more so I don't believe you put your life on hold for that long if you feel ready. I'm not saying it's going to become something proper serious with MOT35, but at the same time, she in a similar boat to me and done for a long time, I do not feel it's innapropriate to anyone but our kids.
no 2x4 from me brother..you're done..it's all good as far as I am concerned..I know you're done..I don't know that MOT35 is done..see the difference is this..
I started dating before mine was over also..I never dated a marreid woman or a woman who was with another..and have not done that yet..I had a chance with cafegirl34..she is living with a guy and if I had worked the angles I could have gotten her out..I'm confident I still could but don't want to be the OM..
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I don't think I'm out of line to think going without much physical connection for the best part of 18 months is a long time....I'm only young !!!!
i hear ya..loud and clear and feel your pain...
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I have massive respect for the way you handle things yourself, but I'm obviously a bit different here. I would accept I was wrong if I was sleeping with anything that moved, but I'm not, I'm getting to know someone, we get on and we haven't even slept together yet. I think I've said many times, I don't get the one night stand scene, it would have to be with someone I liked and was comfortable with. (Maybe next wekk !!!)
and all i'm saying is don't be OM..don't be what broke up your M..there's unmarried pootie out there to shop lift..go get it if it's about the sex..
Mike - I thank you for you input as always. I think we are along the same lines. MOT35 is still married as she is in a complicated situation and needs to get some legal stuff sorted first re her dads company (as it's worth a few ££££) and she also owns some properties etc that ex could get his hands on (possibly) if she is not careful. As far as she tells me (and I totally believe her given the state she was in when he turned up saying he was moving back in...he seems gone again already !!). She would of seperated over a year ago were it not for this legal stuff.
I do question whether what I'm doing is wrong etc at times and I come to the same conclusion that i'm not. I've given her every opportunity to call it quits, I've even done so myself 2 or 3 times and it's not like were even in some sort of relationship. I do not believe I am clouding her jugdement as she seem so unhappy when anything to do with ex comes up, but on the flip side, I do know that was the same in reverse for me in my own sitch. The only difference being, I did work, her ex still seems to be a complete DAM and changing nothing so nothing is changing in her mind....
Every single sitch has there differences. I am open and honest, I've told her if there is any chance that she should try with her ex and i've said that more than once....I've encouraged her too, but she is done.
Anyway, nothing might come of it over time. And, it's not about the sex mike at all. I've had plenty of opportunities if it was but it's not like that with me. I enjoy female company and as mentioned, I have rarely had one night stands in my life, I like to know someone a bit now.
I am just thinking you will now fire back with it all seems like i'm trying to justify myself...maybe I am, but maybe that's as I like this girl and know she likes me for me.
So I spoke to MOT35 last night and she was a bit weird. I called her bluff a bit with a text just as going to sleep and no response til this morning but sort of apologetic. I didn't reply as digesting as, although I like her, I'm really not sure if I need all this chit at times. Bit confused really. Anyway, so she then rings me a while back thinking I'm blanking her (I was busy for that 90 mins getting ready and to work) and is super nice and back to the girl I like again.
Starting to question whether she is a batchitt now or not. I don't think so, think she is just scared as she really likes me (or so text says), but I can't do stupid games. I had the last 6 years of my life walking on eggshells and worrying about not hurting somebody else rather than looking after me and I aint going back there for nobody.....
I didn't reply as digesting as, although I like her, I'm really not sure if I need all this chit at times. Bit confused really
u and me too brother..
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Starting to question whether she is a batchitt now or not. I don't think so, think she is just scared as she really likes me (or so text says), but I can't do stupid games.
FWIW..lots of times they don't start out batchitt but get that way later on..if batchitt is detectable early on then you might save yourself some heartache.
I will give a bit of time Mike and see what happens. We should get to spend a bit of time together next week when I got my mates house so will try and figure out some more then.
The thing is, she is making a hell of an effort to be fair with what she has going on and I am doing not a lot really. Maybe she sometimes get annoyed with that as it's relatively easy for me with all my free time.
So need to get my own place...anyone want to lend me £100k ? Give me £100k ?
Great weekend. Left work a little early Friday to drop my car off then to meet a couple of work mates for a 'couple' of 'quiet' beers. Well, that was 5pm and I got home at 2.30am....Doh...Would of been earlier but went and met MOT35 about 11pm. It was such a small world night tho as met her friends BF who knows loads of mates I know through footy and then bumped into him in the pub yesterday. Then, also, MOT35 tells me about one of her best friends and it's only a former UK Olympic champion that I used to fancy....lmao...she is meeting her for lunch this week and going to tell her I think...ha ha
Had my boys all day Saturday and was so cold we didn't do much. I so hate just hanging around the house as with their age gap (6 & 2) and different personalities, it's difficult to do anything together. I did offer to have my nephew tho (3yr old) as my S2 and him are best buddies so they went and played and me and S6 got a bit of time which was nice.
Out Saturday night for friends leaving drinks (he is off to Oz on Weds) so loads of old school friends out which was a brilliant laugh. We all went clubbing and when we get together it's like were back at school and 15 again. Didn't do much yesterday, stayed in bed til 12, got up for bacon sarnie then back there til 3 before pub (soft drinks) for the footy, roast and bed with TV til 1am and laptop.
Going to friends house tonite that I'm looking after for a week. Should be fun, but I so hate packing suitcases etc. It is only round the corner from my house but don't really want to be popping home every night, rather go and not return for a few days.
Important meeting at work this afternoon, thinking it's bad news but we will see. The Credit Crunch seems to be wiping more people out by the day in the UK.
I hear ya on the credit crunch Arthur. It's a complete disaster here too. I hope the news isn't too bad. A cut in pay would be preferable to being out of work entirely, right?
Take care.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
but don't want to be the OM..