I am really struggling. I actually did very well during the period of no contact. While I worried about H, I really finally was able to drop the rope. I didnt worry if he was going to call and what he was doing when he didn't and I didn't have to worry about whether or not he was going to be mad everytime I did something with my friends.
No contact ended last week. Since then I have been an emotional disaster. H has been very kind. In that he has come to the conclusion(or at least he says) that he wants to come home. He loves me and everything he did was wrong. He wants his family and his life back. He has been going to therapy and claims that the therapy has helped him see why he did what he did and how to control his anger and work on his other issues.
It is so hard. It took me almost a year to be able to step forward and realize that my life is different and there would be no going back. And now I dont think there is any possibility of getting by what has happened. The only thing is is that I struggle a great deal with lonliness. And it is very difficult for me to say no to something - something I did want more than anything for a very long time - when my other choice is nothing.
If anyone watched Desperate Housewives last night I identified so strongly with Susan. I feel like I need someone to make me feel whole.
Help!
Last edited by Snow White; 01/12/0912:12 PM.
Me~34 H~38 D6.5
EA/PA-DEC.07
Moved out~Apr.13,08 Sep. Papers~Dec.7,08 No contact order ~Dec.9,08 and again October 13, 2009
