well, it IS a full moon in Cancer tonight, linked to Uranus, so crazy, unexpexted revelations of an emotional nature... and if anything comes to light (as in 'illuminated' by the full moon) that 'seems' shocking, or bad, it isnt in the long run and rest assured this is information that you NEEDED to know.
Cancerians can be moody, thats for sure.. and very very pet orientated, the calssic, nurturing mother earth type and often that 'mothtering' often gets directed to.. yep.. cats!!! Cats are linked to moon types (think of witches, full moon magic all that stuff).
Ali, You gotta be kidding! I'm a Cancer, and all of my friends and relatives KNOW that I'm a total cat person! In fact, my H got a bit irritated with me at times, feeling secondary to the cats...he pointed out that sometimes when people would show up at the house, I'd introduce the cats to them before I introduced H to them! Oh, and moody is practically my middle name (well, less so now than before ADs or some recovery from the bomb)!
Can't think of any revelations of note in my life today, though...and definitely no contact with H.
How are you doing, Ali? I think of you often, even if I don't post as much as I used to. I hope you are starting to feel better. It's too bad about the band night conflict, but I agree, probably best to stay away if X is going to be there. How are your studies going? Are you on break between semesters now?
What are you doing today for ALI?
Peace, Dawn
Me 45/H 47, no kids Together since 1985; M/1992 Bomb1 (EA-OW1, age 22) 2001 Bomb2 (EA/PA-OW2, age 22) 10/2007, A continues H left 11/24/08 minimal contact, no legal action http://tinyurl.com/DawnHope1
Hey T.. glad it helped, but I dont know how! Because of your difficult cello lesson, delivering a message to you you needed to hear? My Passionate M book turned up, very good it is too! And not too hard to read as I feared. Pretty good stuff. Made me want to call my ex and say "listen to this!!".
Hey Dawn and Julia.. yep, all the cancerians I know are possibly more attached to their cats than the people in their life!! Until they have children, if they do. Cancerians were born to 'mother' thats true. Thanks for thinking about me and yes I was on a break.. I start back today, but I'm not excited about it!
I've been through a difficult few days. I accept he is gone, with someone else and unless I hear news to the contrary, I give up really. Apart from the NYE text, I havent heard from him since 19th Dec.
I woke up thinking about him today, as I do EVERY morning, usually its the sort of anxious dreams you have to fight awake from. But this morning I woke up having a vivid memory of him sweetly telling me about the book he was reading, as he would always, the Shawshank Redemption, how harrowing it was in places. And I remembered what a lovely, sweet, thoughtful, well educated guy he is. How I miss that. How he is good enough for me. How he isnt the pariah or lying selfish b*stard he may seem to be this past year. That has been his behaviour, sadly, but thats not the man I knew the previous 12 years. So, that was a nice memory of him talking to me, that is as always, tinged with the sadness of losing him from my life.
Oh dear, struggling again. No word from him, despite not expecting any, its upsetting me more than I thought it would! I had to admit to myself today, I am feeling a bit depressed again.
Maybe I spoke too soon when I named this thread, he is "confused now". He said that a the beginning of December, so 5-6 weeks ago and the only contact we have had since then, is his phonecall and present, 3 weeks ago. So, how do I deal with the disappointment of even less contaact since hearing that news??
Either the friend was mistaken, or placed too much importance on what he said, or he did mean it at the time, but changed his mind over Christmas/New Year with her, or he did mean it and still does, but remains confused/, so doesnt want to contact me, or give me false hope.. or he is confused and doesnt know what to do and is for some reason, unable to be in contact with me. Maybe he is very low again. Maybe he cant because, its awkward for him "now", it puts him in an awkward position, as he said, because of her? Perhaps he is more concerned with rocking the boat in his new R, than risking losing contact with me.
I had some tears today, which is maddening. 14 months after he moved out, I still cry over him occasionally. Why am I not over him yet??? Why do I actually miss him more now than ever?? Grr.
Its extrodinary, how much someone can hurt you. I guess I am struggling with having such little contact with him now and it hurts that he has imposed that, which must mean he is ok with it. How do I snap out of this sort of self defeating thinking!?? No idea.
You don't "snap out of it." It is a thing that will be w/you for a long time. The key is to find a way to live w/it and still function.
I know, I'm in the same boat.
This weekend when my little angel asked who my true love was and later said "mommy is your true love" I almost cried...b/c she's right. My X is my true love, but she's gone...just like your BF.
A broken heart is hard to mend, especially during this time of the year. The holidays are bad enough w/thoughts of family, togetherness and love, but January is down-right depressing as we have that holiday hangover and have to return to our normal lives again.
You can't shake it off, and neither can I. So what do we do?
We decide to live w/ the affliction or succomb to it.
Succombing to it sounds nice on many days, but we know it isn't the answer. We've got to keep going forward.
Each day, we rise and face a choice...how do I choose to be today? Happy to be here, or depressed at my situation.
We choose. That is the only blessing, really. We are in control of this one, no matter how much it hurts right now to be here.
Hey Rob, Whatever, Thanks so much for your understanding, I am glad I am not alone in being NOT over my ex yet! We have all been here a similiarly long time (Rob, this all started August 2007 for you too?). Sometimes I feel such a fool, a failure, or some kind of oddity to STILL not be over him after all this time. People in RL gave up long ago saying "move on".. they understand that my life has gone on, but my love for him didnt die.
Rob I try not to think of my heart has broken, perhaps that feels like an 'ending' in a funny way if I accept that it is? But your message hit home, as yes, its hard to recover from such devastating heartbreak.
I am so lucky that my two closest FF have both been through terrible losses, one had a very bad break up from an ex, which took her years to get over and the other lost her brother at 12, so they understand loss and pain, sadly for them! We were saying that it marks those that are real and capable of true compassion, from those that arent real and havent yet learnt their emotional lessons. But, did we really have to suffer to learn that? Seems so. I feel more real now, more myself than I ever have done. I feel 'purified' by this experience and there is no going back. I just wish I had got that second chance to love him, thats true, I think we could have had an amazing R.. something even better and more real than first time around.
I accept that my sitch isnt really in limbo anymore, as it was for most of last year..it feels different now, with NC and seeing him only twice. But..he still talks to friends about me, he has never mentioned our houses or splitting assets. He's still paying a credit card for me monthly, maybe he doesnt realise, but I'd be surprised. He hasnt really said 'goodbye' to me, but do men do that? Perhaps not.
