Two WAS's- is it really meant to be or walk away?

[Trixi]

substance abuse problem (mostly smoking), so his state of mind is difficult to work with. He's impulsive and impatient. The smoking actually helps calm him down, but then he's in a fog. He's convinced it's his 'medicine'.

Do you mean pot or cigarettes? If you mean pot and you tell me he has said that it "helped him write music"...

but now he just wants it to be over with as soon as possible. I'm not sure if I have enough to go on anymore.

Has there been any response to the MySpace pics you posted? Given the distance between you and the decreased contact...I don't know what else to suggest besides leaving a "trail" of evidence that you have GAL'd.
... I know that my H likes it when I make things for him. (Not that it will keep us together, though.) Is there any art piece you could make for him? I made my H the "Gold Record" clock for Christmas ("best gift I have ever gotten my whole life") and it is now hanging on the studio wall. In fact, how I put the band name on the clock, might end up being the actual "font" and style they use for real life. (I would call you making a gift for him a Hail Mary.)

Do you *want* to do a Hail Mary? I am not even sure a Hail Mary works on men...An author says that we women need to quit doing all the work in our relationships and "lean back" and let the guy do the work; that the natural order of things is that the GUY is supposed to DO for us and that WE accept their offerings, not the other way around. (Heh-I like the advice, just have a helluva time following it myself.)

Hmmm....maybe Michelle's book would help....Seems to me, you're pretty awesome and have gone way above and beyond to keep the relationship together..you are now living in a city that is MUCH more suited towards making YOU happy...tell me more about the "why's" of staying married. And(using your own words against you ) I bet there's a guy in your area that would LOVE to have a woman like you and who wouldn't be some self-centered pooh-head. If your H is too daft to know what he is about to lose, maybe he's too dumb for you anyway.