every time you throw his actions in his face, you chip away at any possibility of reconciliation.
Every time.
from Bworl since you really seem to listen to him
Last edited by a new 2moro; 01/11/0906:39 PM.
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
you are right and regardless of what you see...I am really listening just have to learn to do things differently. I agree I agree I agree!!!
Spent my day today messing around e-bay. I FINALLY set up a seller account. So far I have 3 items listed. We'll see how it goes. It takes a really long time to put on a listing as I have just dial up connection. Good ole rural america! I am excited though. I have wanted to try this for so long just never got around to doing it.
I do feel better, stronger today. And who ever said it was right...my H has not filed for D YET, something to be positive about. Now to keep going...
M41 H42 D17 Adopted N14 M22 T24 "Bomb" 4/07 Sep 8/07 Admitted OW 11/07(only to me) OW back 12/4/07 PA on off thru 7/08 says done w/OW but not coming home 8/08 D final 7/09 Moving on and up!!
Good for you! You are putting your focus else where today. Once you get the hang of the eBay, you just might like it.
Keep looking ahead! You'll get there!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
M41 H42 D17 Adopted N14 M22 T24 "Bomb" 4/07 Sep 8/07 Admitted OW 11/07(only to me) OW back 12/4/07 PA on off thru 7/08 says done w/OW but not coming home 8/08 D final 7/09 Moving on and up!!
I am sorry to see that you broke NC...however I compleletly understand As much as I wanted too I didn't because I couldn't put myself thru listening to him be happy..or I thought that he was ... I refused to put myself thru the heartache and pain...and I was able to deal with it better that I didn't contact him. Don't get me wrong it tore me up but the less I knew the better in my stitch.. Take Snodderly's advise and drop the rope...he's in depression and replay and that is somewhere that is the hardest to go thru. He also KNOWS that everytime you call or if he calls your going to let him have it so why would he call or even answer your calls. It's the hardest thing to do but LET HIM BE... concentrate on your self ....concentrate on your self..I repeated myself on purpose. You doing great with the painting..someone suggested selling things to make money especially for new linen in your room also think about painting it...rearrange the living area...how about another room.
Keeping the focus on ourself is the hardest when you get so focued on what is happening in your life that is so heartbreaking and painful...however do not get stuck there keep moving forward that is what gets your own self empowerment that is something so awesome that you can't beleive that you were so focused on your stitch that to once attain it you will never give it up again...this is when we were so focused on H and family that we forgot ourselves and our need and wants..You will become the strongest person that you know..and it is the greatest feeling in yourself.
You are doing great and you know what you need to do I beleive in you, and moving in your own direction is good...how about reading if you have the book on doing some 180's...make a list on what yu can do for yourself and for your marriage..Rearranging the room is one go on to another one...rearrange the living area so that he sees your moving on in YOUR life...dbing isn't always about the marriage I choose to look at it as something for me in my stitch that worked best for me..
As far as friends go invite the girls over for a night together...I know it sounds huge but do what you did with them before MLC...let them know that yu still need their friendships especially living in a smalll town..plan a theme or a sewing circle you like to cross stitch etc... make it sound like a good time for all and keep the focus OFF your stitch...they do not know how to handle the situation that you are in and are afraid ... so plan the evening just for the girls so they know that your okay and doing fine even if your not.
Your getting some great advise here listen to it and start implementing the ideas and suggestions and advise.. I will look in on you later.. ITSY Are you not allowed to leave the house? you mentioned probation....
M54 H54 married 30 years Prostitues and Other women "100's" 10/7/2004 Prostitue/Junkie girlfriend 6/04-1/07? Left 1/5/05 returned 1/9/05 Asked h to leave 4/2005 Had to, prostitues OW 5/2005 not a prostitue Divorced 9/2006
Yes I can leave the house. What I was saying earlier is most things to do take money. Don't have any extras believe me. Nothing really to do around here at night unless you drink or your old. I cannot go to bars. I cannot drink. Before I was so stupid and got myself on this probation, I was going out. I didn't always drink (normally not a drinker) but it was good to get out with people. At least it got me out of the house. I cannot do that anymore. But that's nobody's fault but my own.
M41 H42 D17 Adopted N14 M22 T24 "Bomb" 4/07 Sep 8/07 Admitted OW 11/07(only to me) OW back 12/4/07 PA on off thru 7/08 says done w/OW but not coming home 8/08 D final 7/09 Moving on and up!!
toh: it really is very easy to sell on ebay. once you start, you will want to sell more and you will see results. in the beginning, it will not seem like it but you learn as you go along.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
H had to do a drive by this morning? Got my nerves a racking...why does he do that? is it just to see if I'll call, doesnt want to talk to me, is it just that he checked cows and went this way, it's dark, was he going to stop in but changed his mind...I don't get it and it hurts, he might as well throw a knife out the window at me on his way by...
M41 H42 D17 Adopted N14 M22 T24 "Bomb" 4/07 Sep 8/07 Admitted OW 11/07(only to me) OW back 12/4/07 PA on off thru 7/08 says done w/OW but not coming home 8/08 D final 7/09 Moving on and up!!
something else that's been bothering me...this no contact thing. I think of D17 and him. She doesn't call her dad or go see him at all. If he comes here she usually avoids him. But he just lets it be, he doesn't try to pursue her, he doesn't "come back" to her.
And I know before you all say...NC is more for me but I have to be honest I pray that it helps bring him home...
M41 H42 D17 Adopted N14 M22 T24 "Bomb" 4/07 Sep 8/07 Admitted OW 11/07(only to me) OW back 12/4/07 PA on off thru 7/08 says done w/OW but not coming home 8/08 D final 7/09 Moving on and up!!
you cant repaire H w/ D & N thsts their job....dont get involved
stop thinking of ways to control H's behavior it is what is and you have NO control over it EXCEPT you can push him away.
I did tell you along while ago this would be like drug withdrawals for you...and you put it off for many months. I along with others were literally on the floor for days unable to function. yes it hurts but hang in there
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest