I know he lies by omission, it does bother me (quite a lot!) but I don't really know what to do about it as often I find out that he's lied after and not at the time so it is hard for me to confront. He is just always going to leave out ow stuff I think. He can't mention her to me - guilt.
I sent him an email reflecting his tone on Friday but tried a new tack of stating when and where I would like to meet basically in R2C's suggested text and a sketchy brief of what we would be discussing, so he brings the stuff I need to the meeting and also so he knows I am not trying to 'trap' him or whatever he builds it into. Two baby steps have occurred...
1. I haven't been stressing about not hearing from him, although I did start wondering what to do today as I had suggested Monday lunchtime and I hadn't heard. I decided to put it out my head and wait a bit longer. Lucky I did because...
2. He sent me a text saying 'Hi, got your email. Can't do Monday lunchtime, got a really busy week, but I'll check my diary and suggest another time. Not really sure what you mean about the internet bill...?'
So baby steps, although I find the time lapse weird (why did he not email me back on Friday - shows at least I pop into his head at other times - one of my old fears) at least he let me know in good time and said he would suggest an alternative and didn't react badly to me taking initiative. I am busy this week so he will have to fit round me too This is better communication and more respectful of him.
I had asked him to bring copies of all the bills to the meeting. My plan for the meeting is to discuss the fact that I noticed he didn't pay any money in to the bank last month so didn't contribute towards the bills or mortgage (mortgage was fine as it is the holiday month). It is fine if he doesn't want to contribute towards the bills anymore - obviously - but I will tell him he needs to let me know this (this damn conflict avoidance he has going on!!!) so I can compensate otherwise how am I supposed to know! Also, if I am going to be paying the bills I want to be receiving them rather than them all going to him - that won't sit well with his control needs - which is why I have asked him for copies. I also said that in my email that I have some mortgage papers for us to look at (this is the interest only mortgage) to make sure he knows I am serious about the one month mortgage holiday. I will keep the meeting light and friendly and will discuss the issues with him to see if we can come up with a solution together - this is what has worked before.
I will tell him that he needs to communicate better re the house Dan, you are right. If I let him get away with it then it enables him and I'm not putting up with that any longer - it screws me as I have no idea what is going on with my own finances!
So, I saw the estate agent on Sat and they basically said the same as the two h saw. I am really glad I saw the agent as I actually concur with h's view of which one to go with. I am more used to the idea of selling and am over the money lost issue. I can't torture myself with what would have been's.
Today I took myself off the Bikram Yoga. I really enjoyed it! It was a hassle to get the train into London but as I told myself I had nothing else to do so may as well and was so pleased I did!
I have a *great* 180 outfit for meeting h! This skirt with a tight shirt and heels - I'm going for the sexy administrator look bit different to my usual jeans!
This is better communication and more respectful of him.
bit different to my usual jeans!
