STEPPING out...

[scrappy]

Your sitch sounds so very very similar to my own. My stbx filed for d in June 2008. Since that time we have come along ways in terms of being friends again, talking, loving. He still wants the d though. There is no OW. The "other thing" in his life is his alcohol. His drinking has really escalated over the past year and I would now say that I think he is an alcoholic. He pretty much just stays in the house and drinks. He just sold his business and has made minimal to no attempts in finding work in his field (or any other field...). So I, too, feel like he is leaving me for his alcohol. I, also, think he is in the midst of a MLC. He blames me for all of the financial issues we have had over the years. I certainly contributed, but it definitely takes two! Anyway, I am trying to work on myself and stand for the restoration of my marriage. This is an easy thing to say, but very hard to do. What really does standing look like? I am still trying to figure that out. I am very worried about his drinking and the impact I am sure it is having on his health. I wonder how much I should get involved. I did write a letter to his mother about it and spoke with his brother. They do not live close so there would have been no way they would know he was having a problem if I hadn't told them. My stbx doesn't answer his phone, so he never talks to his family. He will only answer if it's his good friend, D, his kids (most of the time) and me (sometimes). It would probably be hard to not look like I cared and that I was chasing if I really got involved with this. I know you can't make them stop, or make them get help or make them do anything for that matter, but it is hard to just sit back and do nothing. Any thoughts on how much to intervene with his drinking? Is your X still drinking? Does he appreciate the impact it had or is having on his life and those around him?