Sophie, It's understandable to feel unwanted, because your h gives you that impression. The only thing that you can do is let go, let God have the issue at hand. The lack of trust is also a factor in the crisis. Your h really hasn't been as trust worthy has he should have been all along. So, there will be trust issues, but you will learn as you walk this path, go w/your gut instinct and listen to what he's saying. You will learn to sift throught the bs that comes out of his mouth and find the truth that is well hidden in the garbage. You are very new at this and it takes time, patience and understanding of what you are dealing w/to get to the next level. You will learn what does or doesn't work and try different things to help you along the way. The one thing that I want to point out....any changes that you make for yourself, they must become permanent and you cannot go back to the "old" routine. You cannot make changes just to attract his attention or try to get him home. He will sense this and feel very leery of anything you say or do. He's also got trust issues right now as well.
As for Mr. C....it's nice to have a friend, but please be careful. Emotional affairs are harder to break than physical affairs. If you truly want to try to reconcile w/your h, Mr. C needs to be put on the back burner until such time as you are divorced. You do not need a third party in this mix that will cause even more confusion in your mind, heart and soul right now. Learn to fly solo w/your children until such time as you are absolutely sure of what you want to do. Okay?
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
