I love the term "very surface", that is exactly how I am around xH. Its amazing how much I guard my heart from him. So afraid of the healing tear being ripped again...
I agree with the diagnosis for your xW, she is grasping, lonely, reaching out. When xH ended it with original OW, he moved on and dated. Searching, grasping, and lost. And yes, ignoring the issues and the reasons along the way.
Its throwing you because its a change in her behavior, a shift. But since you have no desire to reconcile, then don't let it shift your behavior/choices. If you are comfortable, just continue to be distant friends with her. Deep down you don't want her miserable and making bad choices, but since you can't stop those, just stand by and live your life.
