I know where you are coming from with the NC. It IS hard. I have fallen soft way too many times and called or emailed or txt my W. I have now taken a step to the 'far side' and decided to leave her alone. She is, in my eyes, in a big sorry mess with herself, but I can't help her, I'm too close.
I have only managed 2 days with NC but SHE has called me 1st every time so far. (It's only been 1 month since our false recovery)
In your H mind at the moment, you are probably thought of as the 'rock', the stability. That will make him nervous as h�ll. Think of an interview you may have had for a job. How did you feel about facing the interview board?. I was always very nervous and didn't know WHAT to expect. Most of the time it was OK. Your H doesn't know HOW you are going to react if and when he talks to you. Easier to stay away or just get the 'business' out of the way as quickly as possible.
You must continue to be that 'safe haven' for him. There will come a time when he needs you. As long as he isn't being spiteful or vindictive, there is a way forward.
I also understand where you are, I too live in a small rural village, all the people here are either drunks or almost dead. I went out last night, there were 4 people in the bar and 2 of them were too drunk to talk. It's SO hard when you are on your own. I imagine that my W is all happy and enjoying life where as I am stuck here being miserable. Truth is, she is hurting as much as me, just in a different way. Also, it's up to me whether I choose to be miserable or not, and right now, I choose to be happy, you should too
