Just stopping by to say hi! The making plans and going out stuff does not come naturally to me either. I am hoping that by forcing myself, it will begin to feel more natural. I am a real homebody.
Well, try to get some sleep. It is not good for you to be so sleep-deprived!
Hi, BM and SC, Thanks for posting to me! I think I go in cycles...the whole three steps forward, two steps back thing. The trend is the right direction, but it's definitely not a straight line (sorry, my math degree is showing!).
Going to go work out now!
Peace, Dawn
Me 45/H 47, no kids Together since 1985; M/1992 Bomb1 (EA-OW1, age 22) 2001 Bomb2 (EA/PA-OW2, age 22) 10/2007, A continues H left 11/24/08 minimal contact, no legal action http://tinyurl.com/DawnHope1
Sounds like you are making progress. It will all work out but it just takes time and yes, we do take some steps backward at times but we pick ourselves up and carry on..........
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
MWG, thanks for checking in with me and being supportive. I do appreciate it.
Today at my piano lesson, my teacher gently chastised me for not applying myself (to my piano studies or much else of long-term benefit) even though I have more time on my hands now. She is right. I want to get a grip on myself. I'm feeling better today and am working on how I can be more productive with my time and not waste so darn much of it.
Forward, back, forward, back...
Peace, Dawn
Me 45/H 47, no kids Together since 1985; M/1992 Bomb1 (EA-OW1, age 22) 2001 Bomb2 (EA/PA-OW2, age 22) 10/2007, A continues H left 11/24/08 minimal contact, no legal action http://tinyurl.com/DawnHope1
Wow you are doing so well !!! You are getting your work out on time and prepareing for a competition and learning piano!?? Wow, you have reacted much better to H leaving than I feared, if I can be honest with you.. you are doing better at looking after yourself. Maybe it was more of a drain on your wellbeing than you realised, having him and all his drama there in the house?
So how are your sleep patterns now, have you got that under control? Glad to see you getting on so well...
Al xx
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
Well, the latest adventure has begun. I have been avoiding dealing with the bills (which is not entirely normal for me), but tonight I got them partially sorted out, and discovered that the water/sewer bill has been unpaid for long enough (due to the credit card expiring, I think) that I just opened a letter saying that if it wasn't paid, they would begin disconnection proceedings TODAY (technically yesterday, January 8). Well, I still have water, so they haven't disconnected me yet, but regardless, I'm going to be on the phone when they open in under five hours trying to head off the possibility. If they have to reconnect, it will be a big mess, and very expensive too, although certainly not the end of the world (my standards for what will really upset me are much higher now than they were before the bomb).
I know some of my other bills are overdue too, even though I haven't gotten through opening all of the envelopes yet, and I have to deal with that. I guess my way of coping with all of this has been a little bit of denial, eh? I'm kicking myself a bit for having stuck my head in the sand about all of this, but I'm dealing with it now, so hopefully it will end up being water under the bridge before too long.
I don't know how I will pay for everything, even knowing that H is willing to cover the mortgage and utilities--I have a bunch of medical bills, plus some for my business, and a few miscellaneous things, and I'm not sure how I'm going to stretch what I have to cover everything, because it's not mathematically possible until I get some more paying work or some other form of income.
H is keeping up with his end of the bargain, I'll give him that--I just got the receipt for the 2008 property taxes that he apparently paid on December 30th. I feel very lucky that he's being decent in terms of financial stuff so far. I'm trying to boost my own income so that I don't have to rely on him, but the fact is that he makes about five times what I do (and his salary is definitely on the low side for a computer guru), since I'm self-employed and it's not a lucrative field by any stretch of the imagination. So...I don't feel that I need to make as much as he does (although it would be nice), but I definitely need to make a lot more than I do now if I want to stay afloat on my own.
Guess I'd better go to bed now so that I can be up in a few hours calling in my payment, and hoping my water doesn't get cut off. I could use any prayers for my financial state that anyone wants to offer...
Peace, Dawn
Me 45/H 47, no kids Together since 1985; M/1992 Bomb1 (EA-OW1, age 22) 2001 Bomb2 (EA/PA-OW2, age 22) 10/2007, A continues H left 11/24/08 minimal contact, no legal action http://tinyurl.com/DawnHope1
Wow you are doing so well !!! You are getting your work out on time and prepareing for a competition and learning piano!?? Wow, you have reacted much better to H leaving than I feared, if I can be honest with you.. you are doing better at looking after yourself. Maybe it was more of a drain on your wellbeing than you realised, having him and all his drama there in the house?
So how are your sleep patterns now, have you got that under control? Glad to see you getting on so well...
Al xx
Hi, Ali, good to hear from you! We must have cross-posted.
I only wish I were doing as well as you describe! As you can see from the previous post, I've got financial issues, I'm still struggling with the sleep schedule (although it's gotten a little better, but still, it's 4:20 a.m. where I am, so that should give you a clue!), I haven't really done anything yet about the exhibit (it isn't juried, so it's not really a competition) and the deadline for getting it into the catalog is Saturday...sometimes I feel like I'm just hanging on by my fingernails in terms of accomplishing anything!
I've been studying piano for over 10 years. I really enjoy it; the only problems are that, first, like many other things in my life that involve any work, I have a hard time getting myself started with practicing; and second, playing in front of other people makes me more nervous than ANYTHING else I can remember doing! My first recital, I was shaking so badly that my teacher said she was worried I would fall off the bench! But still...it gives me a lot of joy. I have a fabulous teacher, which I think makes a big difference.
I do agree that it was a drain on me when H was here, and I wouldn't say I feel *good*, but definitely much less tension than when he was here and I had to deal more directly with everything he was doing. At least I am removed from it enough now that it's not being shoved in my face every day, so I'm able to detach better. There are certain advantages to living alone except for the furbabies...although the benefits don't make up for the loss of a good M. I do feel more calm and peaceful without his MLC drama, though.
Okay, I have to drag myself out of bed in about four hours to tilt at windmills with the water company, so I'd better hit the sack now.
Ali, thanks so much for checking on me and posting to me! I hope you are doing better!
Peace, Dawn
Me 45/H 47, no kids Together since 1985; M/1992 Bomb1 (EA-OW1, age 22) 2001 Bomb2 (EA/PA-OW2, age 22) 10/2007, A continues H left 11/24/08 minimal contact, no legal action http://tinyurl.com/DawnHope1
Well, I dodged the bullet of having the water get shut off. That's taken care of now. Still have a big stack of bills to deal with, though.
I was out with friends tonight (my friend Lynn and her H), and I also finally did my weekly workout (the program I use only requires half an hour of my time, once or twice a week, although I do other forms of less-strenuous exercise too) that I've been procrastinating on for about four days (just last week I did my first workout in two months). So I'm giving myself a pat on the back for that; that should help get me back on the right track after all the cookies and pie I've been eating! Lynn commented to me that she thinks my H (who is a friend of hers too) is totally freakin' nuts, because if she were a guy married to someone who looks like me, she wouldn't be going ANYWHERE! And that was without even mentioning OW specifically, when Lynn has met her and knows full well that OW is about as big around as she is tall! So...that made me feel pretty good, since I don't get a lot of compliments these days. But I was explaining to her in passing, during a conversation about something else, that I had never had much confidence in my appearance until after the bomb, oddly enough, despite all the compliments H gave me over the years, which tapered off eventually because it was so discouraging to him that I had a hard time believing they were true.
Today while I was doing my Bible study, I came across some scriptures about laziness that really smacked me between the eyes. I realized that the way I have been using (or rather, not using) my time has been, at best, faulty; at worst, sinful. That being said, I am going to bed now, and planning to get to church tomorrow morning, and will work to use my time better tomorrow.
Peace, Dawn
Me 45/H 47, no kids Together since 1985; M/1992 Bomb1 (EA-OW1, age 22) 2001 Bomb2 (EA/PA-OW2, age 22) 10/2007, A continues H left 11/24/08 minimal contact, no legal action http://tinyurl.com/DawnHope1
It's hard and a long road but as each day comes and goes, you will begin to feel a little better.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Lynn commented to me that she thinks my H (who is a friend of hers too) is totally freakin' nuts, because if she were a guy married to someone who looks like me, she wouldn't be going ANYWHERE! And that was without even mentioning OW specifically, when Lynn has met her and knows full well that OW is about as big around as she is tall! So...that made me feel pretty good, since I don't get a lot of compliments these days. But I was explaining to her in passing, during a conversation about something else, that I had never had much confidence in my appearance until after the bomb, oddly enough, despite all the compliments H gave me over the years, which tapered off eventually because it was so discouraging to him that I had a hard time believing they were true.