Just read your sitch- my stbx is in a band too, that recently fell apart. Part of me wonders if that band breakup stress helped lead to the d talk. I think it definitely makes them feel less successful. Native has a lot of good comments about being a hero, etc. So true. Those brick walls hiding feelings are tough too, I know- I'm facing this also. Sounds like you may have made a little progress with him talking to you lately though..
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My problem is we have very little contact. Thus few opportunities for me to praise.
I'm in the same boat. Is he on any websites as your 'friend'? Myspace, facebook, etc. I've used these to update w. new pics of me GAL. Of course, dbing through emails too. It is harder with little contact, however, one perspective is that the feeling of permanent 'loss' could motivate your spouse to miss you.. That has worked for some people.
Hey, I'm from WI too. recently moved to west coast though... the 100 inches did me in! (that and my failing m)
DBer since 2003 D - 3/24/09 GAL and DBing for myself
