Divorced, but 'still hopeful' to reconcile.

[cz946]

OK Still Hopeful lets do it together.

I too think its time I disengage from XW. XW has told me on numerous occasions that she knows I will never make the same mistakes again. Which is true, I wont, I can't, but never any word about us getting back together. Part of this is my own fault, she plays me like a pawn. She needs something i'm there, she misses me, I'm there. I told her on several occasions I want nothing more than getting back together. She knows how I feel and its willing to budge. Why should she, she has the best of both worlds, me being nice to here willing to accept her back at any moment, and hangin out with her friends and meeting new friends all the time.

So what does disengage mean? What are the rules. No contact? or not initiating contact, but returning txt, emails, etc...

I have been told by a friend that left her H 5 years ago, and now regrets it, that I have to make her miss me. She played her XH like a yoyo. She has told me since day one that I have to disengage. But i have alwayus been afraid to because I never wanted her to think I gave up or abandoned her. I think I have made it clear to her that I want nothing more than get back with her. But I don't want to be her back up plan either.

I told her last week at dinner, I don't think we can ever go back because of the D. I would be afraid she would leave me again. Me trying a scare tatic. She replied why, we never cheasted on each other or anything. This gives me hope, but I don't know if she says this to keep me hanging in there or not.

Trust me I have made mistakes along the way trying to DB, and I don't see any benefit from what I am doing now. She has said all along that she wants to be friends, but I want more. So I say lets do it together. I will keep you updated on my status and you do the same.

Ok so, I will start.
Heres my status.
Last Face to Face.
1/2/09 - Dinner, R talk, XW told me she was hanging out Mark(bowling buddy, he wants more and she is not willing).
Last email,
1/8/08 She replied, to a pic of d swimming that I sent day before.

Last TXT.
1/9/09 She sends me a txt at 6:30PM asking me my shirt size for specific store, states shirts are on clearance. I didn't get it until 9:30 cause I left cell at home. I respond at 9:30, its probabl;y to late bit xl. She responds ok, I have to go back tomorrow anyway.

No contact since. We will see what tomorrow brings.
In the past its been hard to disengage, because when I try she uses the d tatic, and wil send me a question about d oer call to talk to d.

Lets stick together still hopeful, We have one goal.