Luci in piecing!

[Luci]

Checking in with you guys! Life has been really hectic with no time to post.

Things between BF and I are amazingly smooth this time around. We seem to be more willing to compromise than before, and really hear each other out.

Finally got an R talk out of him, since I felt more comfortable in recent days than I had before about asking questions for my own curiosity's sake. It's not going to be a popular response with some people on the boards, but I asked BF why he decided to try again and he told me it was because I had kept after him.

See, when I'd back-slide, I'd talk to him. I'm a talker, when I'm nervous or upset or especially passionate about something. He'd sit and patiently listen to me on those days I just couldn't bite my tongue, and assure me (when I apologized, horrified at myself) that he felt it was only fair to hear me out. I tried and tried again to QUIT THAT, because it was nothing less than chasing and I didn't want to drive him out the door.

HOWEVER, he said that some of the things I said when I was talking "at" him had resonated deeply with him when he thought about them later. It took me explaining my point of view (more than once, I'm so embarrassed) for them to "click" in his head, and match them up with how he felt about the situation.

It makes me feel guilty, because I know that chasing is a big DBing no-no, but I guess LUCKILY it wasn't as destructive as it could have been. I really dodged a bullet, there.

But, I can redeem myself by saying that BF admitted the other 180s I did (being up-beat, being more agreeable, GALing) helped him see that my intentions were sincere and not just because I was feeling like crap and wanted to hold on to him.

He told me that he sees that I care about him and love him. I reply that ANYONE could potentially LOVE him, what made him want to try again with ME?

"Because you love me with -passion-, your talks proved that", he said. It made me smile.


So....so far, so good. Still kind of working out how I can continue to be agreeable with things I dislike that don't directly and immediately effect me. I need to let go of that rope and let him be responsible for his own actions and consequences, instead of badgering.

But, like I said...so far so good.