everyone was betting after he said you all needed a talk that the tummy would kick in...quite predictable isnt he.
i think its time you take car back from son.its your car...let H drive him to work after all he isnt working..let h deal with son.....give him some responsibilty or he can give you a car to use.....
your h has life too cushy....its all according to him when he comes and goes, where he lives i think you need to take your familys life back. Youre right god doesnt condone the life style he has chosen to continue....he hides behind gods forgiveness and yours.....
Uhmm....if i take the car away from my son, he has no job. he is training to become part of management and i want him to succeed. he has not been using the car like he used to. since it is just us, i have to let him use the car. H would never in a million years get up early, drive 15 miles to take S to work or pick him up at midnight. that would never fly with h as he has told us before, if you need to get somewhere take a taxi--well, a taxi pulled next to me the other day and the rates were $2.50 just to get in to the cab and $2 per mile. that would be a nice expense, wouldn't it? it is crazy to even suggest such a thing!
S even took the day off yesterday just so I could run errands and do some grocery shopping. it took me over 4 hours to do what i had to do. he gave up a day and his pay just for me.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Therein lies the problem for a long time everyone is making sacrifices except your H. I completely get what you are trying to do but now that he is not working...shouldn't he have to make some sacrifices for his family.
JMHO...I think you are on the right track, MWG
Everything happens for a reason, maybe Dad needs to find that it isn't better out there, he needs to realize how good he had it here. Maybe he will find God and that is the most important thing when he finds Him he will know he is supposed to come home.
and you know, i am working my arse off...making money or trying to and he is still in outer space.
amazing that he can run errands whatever the heck that means and go shopping. he never did that for me when he was at home--maybe sometimes but not much. i am sure he is her little lapdog.
i hate to say it but i have always pictured her holding a dog leash which is attached to his neck and a whipe in the other hand, and the funny thing is, the times that my friend would see them, she was always walking in front of him and he was always behind with his hands in his pocket looking down to the ground.
Hmmmm.......
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Hi MWG...I found out some things about my husband today from my brother-in-law.Back 15 yrs. ago my husband took her to his house said he was bringing a friend....I know this has nothing to do with what is going on right now but I am begining to wonder if it really is MLC...this is not his first time around with this homewrecker whore...she came into our lives to destroy it 15 yrs. ago...maybe my husband was meant to be with her all along?
My husband has no shame MWG...he did this twice to me how can I keep on loving him? Dont know why this conversation came about...but my BIL said he thought he had told us about it.
Big fight broke out over it at the time.my SIL wanted to fight her my BIL actually had to hold her back but the whore kept saying to her "I can take you baby" or something like that.And I know it shouldnt let it bother me but it does...
Makes me think I am wasting my time waiting on him...not praying though I think I will always do that..just not praying for restoration....he obviously has no respect for me if he could do that...my heart hurts wish I hadn't of found that out..
I know you are hurt but the first thing you have to do is pray about the anger. Each time you say "homewrecker whore" I can see how angry you are and I certainly understand but that is something I have never even called ow. Yes, I have called her something but not quite that drastic. I think I prefer adulteress.
I know this is still fairly early for you to be experiencing your h moving out but try and work on the anger, forgiveness and yes, even pray for ow.
Maybe post on your own thread so people can read more about you and your situation there. It helps all of us to keep better track of who you are when you have your own thread.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
D15 had a horrible headache lastnight, took a motrin, and went into her room. Boy, she was quiet the rest of the night!
D16 came home as she was at her friend's house. She has this friend who invites her over at least once a week for dinner and at times to spend the night. This friend's parents really like my daughter and they are planning on throwing her a birthday party in a few weeks. I asked D if they know of our situation and she said yes, all of it, they always pray for us. I felt bad that they are throwing her a party and told her to tell them to keep it simple. All I have to do is bring the cake as requested by my daughter.
S18 does not work a full 40 hours. In his business, he works 4 hours during weekdays and then on weekends/busy nights he works about 7-8 hours per day. It is hard to know when he gets off work when he works nights as he has to close and that could be 11PM, midnight, 1:30AM....so it is best he just take the car.
Nobody heard from h at all since he said he was not coming over and we did not expect to. We don't expect to hear from him today either.
We shall see..........
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
D16 told me that she texted her dad to see if he was coming over. she said:
are you coming over today or are you still sick
he responded with
why are so so sarcastic
she said she responded that she was not and just asked and it was not meant to be mean
she has not heard back
I am just sitting back and not reacting at all
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
I didnt realize son was now an responsable person in your family. now its H sitting over there in OW's apt all day whilst a good running car sits in the driveway. who is paying OW's rent???
jeesh i think you should go dim except this talk needs to happen sooner than later and yes someone is gonna get hurt and thinks no one has of yet????
If he wants to be a depressed shut in the rest of his life at OW's wouldnt like to get it over with and start a new.
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
Your h was feeling guilty for not coming over and yes, leaving your other daughter in the lurch yesterday. Of course, he thought she was being sarcastic. Why? Because he's feeling guilty and ashamed for what he's done. I'm glad she responded back the way she did. No, you will not hear back from him for a while. He's got to allow enough time to pass so that what you posted to him will be swept under the carpet and he feels that you will not tell him again about everything. They all do this when they know that they've done something wrong....just like a child who has done something...distance from mommy.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
so snodderly, how do we stop the cycle. Or do we just play it out and hope that it ends sooner than later?
M41 H42 D17 Adopted N14 M22 T24 "Bomb" 4/07 Sep 8/07 Admitted OW 11/07(only to me) OW back 12/4/07 PA on off thru 7/08 says done w/OW but not coming home 8/08 D final 7/09 Moving on and up!!
