Divorced, but 'still hopeful' to reconcile.

[still hopeful]

Re-assessing myself, as I have read others here are.

Re-reading previous posts from the past 3 years to determine when and where I either had great ideas of my own or was given pearls of wisdom from others here.

I know I will find numerous epiphanies and also see where I was pulled back into non-productive behaviors and patterns because of my own weaknesses and fears.

I will spend the weekend perusing this TON of information to see where I went wrong and how to best right my direction to meet my desired end of reconciliation. I have a strong suspicion that frank_D, phoenixdeux, and Doug (here at home) are correct, in that I simply need to disengage from XW to find myself and what are truly the correct actions (or NON-actions) for me to take for me and for my children. I have been making my decisions dependent upon what I think her reaction/feeling will be. THAT is no way to lead MY life. That is no way to truly be attractive to and desirable for my XW. That is no way to be a strong example for my children and to lead them to be happy, healthy and whole. As phoenixdeux said, "Letting go does not mean giving up." I believe that. I also know that MY way has been unproductive thus far. I gotta lead my situation out of this hole. And, it looks like "letting go" will be my way of leading my life differently to make the positive differences I need.

Wish me well in my efforts. Pray for me, if that is your way.

Tom