A little different but still the same.

[Whisper35816]

I am a W who has been with the same W for ten years. We have two kids. 4 wks ago she told me she loved me but was not in love with me anymore. She had found someone at work OW who made her feel alive, and eager to get up and do things. OW is a dope head by the way. I was there when W was legally blind and had several eye surgeries, and the flus that turned to pnuemonia that almost killed her that kept me beside her in the hospital for two weeks straight at 8 months pregnant and I was there to encourage her to go for ged and college when everyone said she couldnt do it. I was there when she said we needed to move so she could get a better job which meant quitting my job, leaving my mom and friends to move and then staying home because W said it was time for me to file for my disability since My fibromyalgia and things were getting worse. I did as she said. I turned housewife. I cooked, cleaned, took care of kids, did laundry, and loved with all my heart and soul. Now she wants to be my friend because she loves me and still thinks Im beautiful but this OW makes her feel alive. I on the other hand feel ripped apart and blown away. If find myself wanting to do things that are illegal in every state and probably a few countries as well. I pray more for her to come home than I do for anything else and if she wont come home I pray that god DOES take me in my sleep because I feel numb and I cant breathe most of the time. I never seen this coming. She never said there was a problem and still says its her fault not mine it just happened and she wont even give us a chance to figure out if we Can save our marriage. My soul cries for her each and everyday and most of the time I do to. I know I sound pitiful but I never wanted anything in my life more than her. I have given everything I have to this relationship and there has to be a way to get her back. Everybody says to just let her go. They even have me semi talked into moving to Colorado to my brothers but Im scared that if I do that she will never come home to me and the kids. Please help What do I do.
Lost in Love
Chatty