Glad you're doing better today. I know what you mean about wanting to know more concerning the OW. Early on I decided not to ask, but my H is a talker and he couln't resist telling me some things - I just listened quietly. Also, I read this on someone else's thread - when they're in the early stages they are high on love hormones and they want everyone else, including you, to be happy too. Then when reality sets in and the romance settles a little they start to consider the consequences. Maybe this is why your H is quiet now?
My H just sent another email asking to meet next Saturday and to discuss terms. Apparently he's forgotten (or he's ignoring) that I counterclaimed in September and we're required to go to mediation. I'm still not ready to see him - it's been almost 5 months. But I have become much stronger in those months. You will too.
Hang in there!
Me 56 H 47 Married 21 years No children Bomb & moved out 4/07 "My feelings have changed" & "I want to live by myself". Ow Bomb 8/07 H filed 6/08 D final 2/05/10
Weekends are hard. I miss my h alot. Weekend mornings are the most difficult; I try to get up and out of the house early. No lingering.
Went to the gym for a workout this a.m. Now will snowshoe with the dogs. Meeting a friend and her 2 kids for a pre-dinner ski later on this afternoon then we will celebrate her birthday.
Tomorrow I'm skiing with a club I've joined. Dinner tomorrow night at friend's house.
Working very hard mentally on living in the moment and letting go of wanting any information about my h. I believe that I am happier than him right now... go figure. I now think it is MLC. This is going to be a long haul. He's really in his cave. No contact from me until he sticks his head (neck) out.
I've decided to spend tomorrow with the dogs since h picks them up tomorrow evening for his week with them. The weeks without them feel very long. It may seem odd to those of you with children, but the dogs are part of my family. They follow me everywhere and when they are gone, I miss them terribly.
I spoke with my friend tonight about joining a congregation. I feel this experience is depleting me spiritually and I would benefit from being part of a congregation again. It's been a long time. It feels a bit odd because I would describe myself as spiritual not religious.
As part of letting go, I have been trying to give this situation over to God.
I understand about the dogs. I have cats, no kids. But they are my babies and I take comfort having them around, especially when I'm down.
And I have gone back to church once since my sitch started. I left the church years ago but decided the ritual and familiarity of the service is soothing. I haven't yet reached the point of turning it over to God.
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
Thanks for your suggestions on my email response. I sent it and got back a real whopper. So when you have a chance.....
We don't have children either and OUR 2 dogs mean everything. I can't believe he just left them too.
Sounds like you're staying very busy. That's good. And you are happier than he is right now. He'll notice, but it'll make him pout for awhile until he figures out he can join you in the happiness.
Me 56 H 47 Married 21 years No children Bomb & moved out 4/07 "My feelings have changed" & "I want to live by myself". Ow Bomb 8/07 H filed 6/08 D final 2/05/10
H picked up dogs last night. I wasn't here; out at friends' home for dinner. He had left voice mail and I texted back about key arrangements.
It's so difficult to know where he's at. I guess I'm going dark. Is this the right thing to do? It feels easier in many ways for me, but doesn't this break our connection completely? I don't know status of ow, but another person told me that she saw h and he isn't happy.
Do people go back and forth between being dark and being in contact. Perhaps I just need a few weeks to heal up more then could be "friendly" and actively dbing again.
