Quote: what ways might you suggest I help him to realize what he is doing in communicating this way?
Unfortunately, I don't have any good suggestions. How do you coax someone into truly examining themselves and their motivations? It usually takes something rather drastic to "force" this change...kind of like our Ses telling us to take a hike. Thing is, one has to be "open" to hearing this stuff and I don't get the impression your H is in a place to do so.
Has he ever done any kind of serious self-examination, LL? Perhaps if he has, you can draw on this to support your efforts. Thing is, reading a couple of R books should help, but I know what you're going to say about his response to that...
He's stuck in his ego, LL...like many of us tend to do. Fortunately, many of us here on the BB (through Michele's help) see that our ego drives much of our thoughts, so we work through those things to try and make it so they have less impact on "reality." I know, if you asked me three years ago, whether I needed to change, I'd say that perhaps I was over-stressed, but other than that I'm good. My point is, I wasn't even in a place where I could even think that I wasn't "on top" of things.
I imagine your influence is working, LL, but ultimately it has to come from him. This reminds me of something my W shared with me from a seminar she went to last weekend...which I'm going to paraphrase and adjust to this situation. We understand what it takes to make a M work, and in this knowledge, we try to share our insights with our S. Many times our S is unwilling to "accept" what we have to share. Thing is, the influence may still be there. It's like an assembly line for ketsup...the bottle has to be made, the label put on, the ketsup inserted into the bottle, and the seal put on the bottle. You just might be the label in the process of his self-examination. So, who or what will be the bottle? Who knows...
Like SB said, he is being arrogant. IMHO, intelligence doesn't hold a candle to wisdom. I like to think wisdom comes from knowing that you know very little.
