First let me say that it would drive me NUTS if my H were undermining my ideas, dismissing my thoughts and feelings in such a manner!!!
That is arrogant, pompous, belittling, and a whole host of other nasty sentiments!!!
However, I think that beneath most arrogance is FEAR. Fear of being wrong, fear of having to reveal oneself, fear of allowing someone else to have a valid point that may conflict with one's own fragile ego.
Yes, LL the most arrogant, narcissistic people are usually hiding insecurities and low self esteem.
When someone is confident in themselves, in their views, they have NO REASON to belittle another person's view in such a manner.
Does HE realize this...I'd bet NOT....it just "works" for him to dismiss your feelings/views in this way. If it's just "junk from other sources" then it's not really valid and he doesn't have to give it due consideration!!!
So what to do about it?
Well I know that CJ has shown me the light a fair bit in pointing out when my comments are dismissive (not in the same manner, but still).
Would that work with your H? Not so sure, as I don't think he has a lot of insight into this.
How about spelling out to him, maybe in a letter? How his dismissals make you feel? I know you've probably already TOLD him this lots of times, but perhaps NOW he might be more willing to hear and validate you?
Reminding him of this tendency of his will open the topic and perhaps allow you to start calling him on it when it happens. He's probably not nearly as aware of this as you are!
