Quote: Hmmm...I hope you didn't misconstrue my post, as I really wasn't implying that you were not "getting a life." I was simply prefacing my later statement. Sorry...
no problem was more just my own little rant and not so much to do with your "get a life" comment...
Quote: You know, I have two thoughts on this (total speculation): 1) Either he only did have an EA, and thus, he doesn't feel like he really did anything wrong (as we know with men it's the physical part). Even my W has downplayed EAs...much to my disagreement. So, he likely doesn't feel like he has to atone for very much here... 2) He did have a PA and feels so guilty about it that he doesn't want to talk about it, can't deal with it, afraid it will set the two of you back, and is afraid that you would D him as a result. Given your "fiery attitude," could he have the impression that you'd D him if it was physical?
sure it's possible that it wasn't a pa...but I do find it harder and harder to believe. I told him upon his return that I wouldn't d him simply because it was a pa...told him that part of me was assuming it to be a pa and I was still open to him comming home so what should that show him? also stated to him that if it was a pa and he doesn't tell me, eventually the guilt will be so much that he will either have to tell me or leave and telling later rather than sooner will not fair to well on either of our behalfs.
in any case...he still denies a pa.
Quote: Yes, it's still insecurity. I would say that he likely interprets what you're saying as a judgement...and thus, feels like he needs to defend himself or "prove" you wrong.
jethro, he does this even when my statements are about MY feelings...my feelings are typically related (by him) to either...somone I talked to, something I read, or it must be that time of month. It is very insulting and I've told him so..he doesn't hear it though...it's that rather self rightous part of him.
