For the Guy with Kids and a WW 23

[kat727]

Karen, you are becoming sooo strong. It is amazing to see. Don't feel bad about it. Sorry if I offended you, I am just in awe. You know I adore you my friend.

Roger, reading how much you love your wife, I can really see your inner struggle. I think we have all felt those things about our spouses. I can remember so many good things, it is hard to believe he has become this alien in such a relatively short period of time.

If you can see her torn, if you can see her guilt then I truly believe the only real hope you have is doing what we all have suggested. She has to miss you. She will begin to see the flaws in OM. Don't e-mail unless necessary and even then only short and simple. Don't let the sweet jokey Roger show through. It may be the hardest thing you do, but drop the rope and kick it away.

Perhaps just write down on a calender when money for the Y is due and what your portion is. Let her know you will be paying, how much and when then drop it. Don't invite her to things, she expects that. Don't buy things for her or bring her extra stuff. You may be thinking of your kids but she has to deal with the situation that she created. You have been rescuing her way too often.
I really want to see this marriage saved. If you do too, you need to do this now. That isn't even starting on B. I know you are lonely, I know it feels great but you can't keep doing this and have any hope of saving your marriage. Remember how words say one thing but actions are what we use as a guide as far as our WAS? Your actions aren't saying, I want to save my marriage.

Get together with your male friends, keep busy with them when you don't have your kids. The thing is Roger, your wife knows how things go when you are together, but she does NOT know what it is like with out you. Let her know that.

kat