stop beating yourself up!! you will never ever know when/what/how things went wrong with 100% accuracy, only GOd knows what factors led things to what they are now, you think it was mostly you, what about him? didn't he vowed to love and honor 'til death? I too did things to hurt my marriage, but I did them out of ignorance (giving my kids more time, worrying about the home) what those men did was just plain heinous (being with ow while lying to our faces). I never deceived stbx in such a horrible and hurtful way, never hid cells/outings/dinner with an op.
I know it is natural to cry over spilled milk, but press the forward button on the past and get up hon, GOd wants you to live an abundanta life, a blessed life, and can't wait to bless you, but you have to believe, and let go, and forgive yourself.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
