Is the answer blowing in the wind?

[NikB]

Sara - your assessment of the RM (his dealer) was about what I thought, too. My guess is that's why the "other" band members aren't as important to him, too.

I DO think it's possible for addicts to stop - but only when they really, truly, deeply want it and are committed to it. I have a good friend who was a drug addict and alcoholic for many years. She just celebrated her 11th year of sobriety (and I believe has been a drug/alcohol counselor for about 6 years now).

Now, that said, Trixi I think your H was just saying whatever he thought you might need to hear at the moment. In any case, I seriously doubt he's going to be able to quit with the housing situation the way it is. Quitting is hard enough, having it in your face every day while trying to quit? No way. If in 3 weeks the RM is gone, you've personally taken him to IC appointments, there's no drugs, alcohol, or cigarettes in the house - well, I'll be the first to admit I was wrong!

On the IC, I say you personally taking him because it wouldn't surprise me AT ALL for him to lie to you and say he had someone else take him.

I actually really like Sara's idea (and I don't think she was kidding!).

Barring that... I think TRULY dropping the rope and moving on without him is your best bet, at least for right now. Aloof, polite, friendly but distant - that's really what I'd recommend. Treat him like an old neighbor you ran into in the grocery store or something. If in 6 months he's clean, sober, AND pursues you - bonus!!

I'm curious - I know exactly when "feet to the fire" went to "waiting by the door" and could have predicted that.

When did "Game over" become "feet to the fire" though? And why?