not much to say here other than I think things seem to be on the upswing again...a different type of upswing though...I think a more lasting one...that is if I don't let me get to myself.
h has been attentive but also keeping his own space (ie watching football, talking to friend on phone etc) had a b-day party for dd on sat and h was "present" tossed the football around with the guys, mingled, helped set up and did most of the clean-up, and even initiated when all the kiddos where in bed.
our "fight" last week over the sex stuff on the puter lead to a discussion of other things...which then lead to his calling and letting me know that though he doesn't say the words ily he does try to show me in some small way every day and I'm trying once again to listen.
yesterday (sun) h and son spent the morning outside working on getting the driveway prepared for paving and then as a family we went out looking at those big screen tvs...before leaving h suggested we go out to uno's with the kids for dinner...he must have been reading my mind. When we got home h did some research for the tv on the puter while talking to buddie who has purchased a few in the past couple of years...I watched a movie...I tried not to feel jelous of h discussing the tv's with buddie instead of me...I was ok about it after realizing that I would do the same if I had a friend who had made such a major purchase already rather than simply blindly researching together.
I did buy h a card when I was out shopping for the b-day party...it was simple...said on the outside...sombody loves you...(guess who?) and on the inside me!...I wrote this in it.
h, I may stomp my feet and get frustrated from time to time but one thing always remains true and that is I love You!
I want so much for us (not in the monotary sense) and our amazing children that I can, at times lose site of what we have.
there's obviously a whole lot more I could say but most importantly I love and appreciate You!
h read it thurs night...then came over hugged me and said "i love and appreciate you too"
I'll admit that I was afraid to give it to him...was afraid that it would signify my "giving in" to him and his attempts at niceness would waiver...it appears they have not.
