(((((Hope))))), I'm so sorry. They become so selfish, don't they? I cannot imagine hurting my child/children the way a WAS does.
My girls really suffered with it. DD20 was a freshman in college at the time. As a matter of fact she had only been there a couple of months. She was already very homesick. When this happened, she really had a hard time. She told me once, it's really hard on me because at least you and "Sister" have each other, I feel so alone. She came home every weekend and did not want to leave on Sundays. She ended up coming home and going to a community college. I'm not sure how her first year of college would have been without the "bomb", but I sure know he made it a lot worse. Sad thing is I loved college and had hoped she would.
Youngest DD had a very hard time also. She became very withdrawn. It was her first year of high school. DDs also were very short tempered and emotional with each other. They would argue at a drop of the hat and had never done that before. I'm happy to say that they are very close again now.
Of course when H first moved out we had no idea that there was OW. So they didn't have that to be mad about at the time
It's been two years now. Youngest DD still has hopes we will get back together. Oldest DD doesn't trust him. She wishes I would find someone else. It has also made her very leary of guys. She said she wasn't sure she wants to ever get married.
Funny thing, is H told me at the beginning this wasn't about the girls, he would always love them and that they would be okay...
You are so early in the process compared to me. Just live for yourself, things change. My H filed for D about 7 months post our separation but never went through with it. As a matter of fact this past summer it had been a year and the lawyers contacted us saying the judge was going to dismiss it due to inactivity if we didn't say to continue it. My H contacted his lawyer and said to dismiss it. Of course things are still up and down with us, but we aren't divorced.
Hang in there. Take care of yourself and your DD. If you are not on anti-depressants it may be something you want to look into. I resisted for so long thinking I would get better, but finally went to the doctor. They have helped me so much. I wasn't able to sleep, eat, concentrate, keep from crying, etc. It all changed once I got on a low dose of Lexapro.
Hugs, Yoyo
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
