Hi Yoyo, my H's business phone records will verify everything. There is no reason for a supervisor/direct report to call each other 260 times in one MONTh which includes weekends and at night. the PM said he would keep it private.
Of course I am not feeling kindly today. My H drops off D papers after asking him on Sunday to hold off with a D till our D15 gets back on the right track. She is having a very difficult time with all of this. migraines, anger, grades dropping. She is very upset with him. When he first moved out she did not talk to him for 5 weeks and then talked to him from Thanksgiving but after Christmas she does not want anything to do with him. He is also drinking big time after all these years. How are your girls with their father? I can't make her "like him" right now.
It is such a sad day. Never thought it would come to this after all these years. The OW has a stronghold on him. He is even using her divorce lawyer. Makes me sick.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
(((((Hope))))), I'm so sorry. They become so selfish, don't they? I cannot imagine hurting my child/children the way a WAS does.
My girls really suffered with it. DD20 was a freshman in college at the time. As a matter of fact she had only been there a couple of months. She was already very homesick. When this happened, she really had a hard time. She told me once, it's really hard on me because at least you and "Sister" have each other, I feel so alone. She came home every weekend and did not want to leave on Sundays. She ended up coming home and going to a community college. I'm not sure how her first year of college would have been without the "bomb", but I sure know he made it a lot worse. Sad thing is I loved college and had hoped she would.
Youngest DD had a very hard time also. She became very withdrawn. It was her first year of high school. DDs also were very short tempered and emotional with each other. They would argue at a drop of the hat and had never done that before. I'm happy to say that they are very close again now.
Of course when H first moved out we had no idea that there was OW. So they didn't have that to be mad about at the time
It's been two years now. Youngest DD still has hopes we will get back together. Oldest DD doesn't trust him. She wishes I would find someone else. It has also made her very leary of guys. She said she wasn't sure she wants to ever get married.
Funny thing, is H told me at the beginning this wasn't about the girls, he would always love them and that they would be okay...
You are so early in the process compared to me. Just live for yourself, things change. My H filed for D about 7 months post our separation but never went through with it. As a matter of fact this past summer it had been a year and the lawyers contacted us saying the judge was going to dismiss it due to inactivity if we didn't say to continue it. My H contacted his lawyer and said to dismiss it. Of course things are still up and down with us, but we aren't divorced.
Hang in there. Take care of yourself and your DD. If you are not on anti-depressants it may be something you want to look into. I resisted for so long thinking I would get better, but finally went to the doctor. They have helped me so much. I wasn't able to sleep, eat, concentrate, keep from crying, etc. It all changed once I got on a low dose of Lexapro.
Hugs, Yoyo
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
So sorry you're having to deal with this, but I hope it takes some weight off your shoulders knowing it's in someone else's hands now.
My H is trying the business-like approach now since I didn't answer his last "friendly" email. I think he's forgotten or is either ignoring the fact that I counterclaimed his filing. If he pursues the D I can charge adultery. Isn't that also the case with you?
What are they thinking?! Oh, that's right, they're not.
STAY STRONG.
Me 56 H 47 Married 21 years No children Bomb & moved out 4/07 "My feelings have changed" & "I want to live by myself". Ow Bomb 8/07 H filed 6/08 D final 2/05/10
yoyo, thanks for your post. I think daughters have it so hard when the first man in their lives (their fathers) let them down and lose that respect. It is true that it is such a disappointment and will give them issues in future relationships.
What happened after your H filed? Did he just do the initial filing and that was it or started the process? did you get an attorney?
It is 7 months since this sleazy affair started. How long did it take you to find out about the OW. You have waited 2 years. Have you been Dbing all of this time?? I am so upset with my H that I can hardly look at him never mind try to be nice. This OW has total control over him.
Silverfox, thanks for your support. I am having a bleak evening. Your H trying to act businesslike. what a joke. Your right none of them are thinking.
Next week I will get an idea of what is going to happen at work as far as the exposure. Wonder if the OW will still want him without job and his paycheck?
I will keep praying tonight. All that I can do. It is in God's hands.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
Nervous to go to work tomorrow after exposure on Thursday.
Worried about seeing atty about the D papers. How did we get here.
Went to alnon meeting tonight. I have been so messed up obsessing about OW that my H's other addiction to alcohol has become full blown again after all those years. He has become his father's son who eventually died of the disease. He is dual addicted to OW and the bottle.
Need prayers and serendity.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
hope just catching up on your thread... I can't believe it has happened... you've been filed... take a deep breath...
I talked with another attorney last week and got some good info.. I really want to talk to you off line about what info you are getting too... can you find me on facebook?
I might talk to my H this week and tell him I'll file first.. I learned some stuff that would help me if I did file first. Either way it sucks.. my anniversary is week from tomorrow.. that is going to suck.. I watched our wedding video this past week and I shouldn't have... I cried so much at how happy we were. more on that later...
anyhow, let me know how tomorrow goes.. also lets connect off line.. I'm not on DB as much .. short on time lately.
hugs to you
Me: 38/H:40 M:7yrs TG: 10yrs 2Girls: 4yr & 7 month old Bomb 8/22/08 OW/EA/PA 8/23/08 with 25yr old Moved out 9/22/08
Hi Txmom, can't get into fb on work computer. stinks. It has been a tough tough week. Would really like to talk to you about this. are you on myspace?
I was really down about the D papers. Can't believe it has come to this. Totally messed up. He is out of it.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
Went to see 3rd atty today, brought my D papers that H left in the mailbox. It feels weird to say it "D-I-V-O-R-C-E" papers. Hate this.
I want to rediscover the man that I fell in love with 22 years ago but as long as the plastic pinata (PP) is in the picture I know that she is in charge.
Going to try and delay the D process for as long as I can without running up the bills to the sky. I don't care if I have any hope for reconcillation though.
Went to work today. Much anxiety and stress waiting to hear since exposure. I know it should take a couple of weeks.
This is a rough time. My D15 has not seen her father since 12/22. I feel I should be doing more but I need to continue to detach.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
