Is the answer blowing in the wind?

[Trixi]

Granted, the 180 would have been VERY difficult given the 8 hour car ride and forced overnight stay... so I can see why that didn't happen... but did you even consider trying it?

We did consider trying it for about 2 seconds. The car ride down had been awful; windshield wipers full blast, hydro-planing, trucks drifting into my lane--by the time we made it to the rehab place I was a ball of nerves. I never could immediately have done the trip back. Even under good conditions, it would have been a bit of a stretch, but with the weather conditions..ugh!

I wonder what his reaction might have been, and what your self-respect level might have done, if you had booked your own hotel room instead of booking one together - and acted as if it was totally normal to do so and have the attitude that anything ELSE would have been strange. It would have been pretty powerful, I bet.

Yes, that's true. I guess I felt like we had made some headway in our convos (not a lot of headway, but a smidge)....I guess it was the same tune, just different words.

The stopping smoking/drinking/etc is new. (Previously he had no interest AT ALL in stopping.) Also, dropping some of the resentment and anger is new. Saying 'no sex' is new. Going to counseling is new. (Adding that I recognize he has not yet *done* these things with the exception of starting to let go of the anger and resentment. However, even speaking of such things is all new.)

Time will tell. By the middle of February I will know if he has stopped smoking (for a period of time) and if he is going to counseling.

You won't get what you want as long as you are in the same town.

LOL- that's funny in a sad way. :|