An honest answer. : ) Do your best. Do your damndest.
Some of those things are easy to do once you catch yourself a few times. GALing is easy to do once you start and you enjoy it.
Overthinking, that is hard to stop, that takes practice and effort not too. I found it easier to do with distractions, losing myself in playing with my sons. Or a project.
Really seeing your faults...that is hard. Most people coming here simply cannot see how they contributed to their marriage failing, as if it was all their spouses fault. Boo hoo poor me. Seriously, it seldom if ever is one sided.
She has more than likely told you a bunch of reasons that are your fault. Some are untrue and some are true. The ones that are false, those are asy to tell, you know they are untrue. If you are skinny and I call you fat...simply untrue. The ones that sting a little, you need to examine, it stings because it hurts, and it hurts because there is a measure of truth to it.
Pressure...anything that makes her feel like she has to do something or commit to something. Guilt as well. Avoid it. Learn how to talk without these things. Listen to yourself and see how much you use it. We all did, some of us still do and make excuses as to why we did. Anytime you say, "I know, but..." You just made an excuse and I don't care.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
