tired of stomping my feet and slamming my head against a seemingly brick wall.
tired of the back and forth.
tired of only hearing the sincere sensitive side of h when all sh!t seems to have hit the fan...
as is typical after some dispute...the following morning starts with phone calls...today h's excuse for a 7am call...to sing happy b-day to dd (she's 2) then another call at about 10 just to see how the day is going and how the kids are (they were both not feeling well the past couple of days) during that call h proceeded to go on and on about the weather and the pool suggesting the kids and I go swimming but warning me that it needs vaccuming again (comment on the easy set intex pools. they are great for a temporary pool but a pain in the but to keep the floor clean) then asks about the emt test I took last night...yada yada yada...mil called on other line...I spoke to her...she's comming over to visit...h will be going to football game tonight...so mil and I might take the kids out to dinner and I assume she'll stay over.
and another call...12:15....do you have a minute? sure...
first of all I didn't come home because I had to or because it was the right thing to do...I came home because I wanted to.
second...I don't always say ily but I do try each day to do something no matter how small to show you that I love you...that is who I am...who I've always been and who I always will be..I used to say ily all the time and that got to be meaningless so now I say it every once in a while...
refered to the internet stuff as "stupid crap"
and then stated that he probably should have called when he had more time but had 5 min and really wanted to say those things...
I simply told him I was glad that he did and thanked him.
I am a bit numb and honestly still tired, I just want peace, securtity and comfort.
I think it's time for me to take a break from this bb...I've abused it enough over the past year +...it has been helpful but it has also served to drive me insane at times.
