Jack, In the time before the bomb, I was trying to be as good of a father/ husband as I could be. I liked being married. Maybe I can't make this woman happy, maybe I catered too much... Two things that bother me are
1. How much this has rattled me... 2. allowing this to p&ss me off...
As far as books, which one do you recommend, you said The Four Agreements yesterday, today The Divorce Remedy.
Jack, I was living for them, My sole purpose was keeping them happy. I liked to work on the house, my weight was around 208 then , now I'm 188. I just couldn't seem to make W happy I guess. Sexually no problems either... We have a 8 year old home we built new. The only thing I can tell you is she felt I have a quick temper.( And I'm watching it closely) I was trying to be the poster boy for American Husband. I'm not perfect, by any means, But I was giving my best effort...
Not being a d ick, just a little incredulous, there is nothing about you that you don't think you could improve? Do you agree with her that your temper is quick?
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
There's your problem, in a nutshell. I think it is a bit of a cart and horse thing. I'm not saying you don't do things that keep them happy, but that statement makes it sound like you might have lost your identity. I don't think women find that attractive.
Yes , I am really working on it. I liked to be active through the day time, and we watched TV at night. Maybe I needed some night activities. I don't know. I can't read her mind. When you don't communicate it's tough.
I understand what VH is saying , and I can relate to it personally. You cannot spend all your time trying to make everyone else happy, it is impossible to do so.I made that mistake, I made my family my life,and removed the Lord from the center.Ultimately it mad me a miserable person, and it affected my family. It took my wife's announcement that she was unhappy to wake me up, what a wake up call.
In my case I got back on my knees and asked for God's forgiveness. I changed, my wife noticed , she is still in MLC, but I know she sees my changes. I did not change for her, but I changed for myself. I am a happier person.I can now deal with anything that is thrown my way. I can love my wife without her loving me. Look inside, like Jack suggested, really look, improve yourself. We are here to help. God bless.
m-54 w-44 children-4 bomb-sept 21 2007 t-21 m-20yrs bomb-sept 23 2007 divorced but not giving up hope, not yethttp://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#post1224023
