Episode IV: A New Hope (?)

[dday101798]

Well, I caved and tried to call her on a smoke break. Usually she'll answer at work with out hesitation, this time, straight to VM, which I left none. That means she blew off work with OM. Heh, she sure likes to play with fire as she's been threatened many times to be fired if she calls in again.

Can't focus on work as all I think about is what the heck to do. I want to stay, but I don't. I don't want to be caretaker of all her stuff she left behind behind and refuses to take out of the house. But yet, should what she said Saturday bear some truth, than I would like to stay so I can "be that close when she needs to talk". But then what does that make me? The safety net I said I wouldn't be.

I so wanted to leave a message to the effect that I do not deserve to be ignored, like it or not I still am your H and father of our kids.

This type of behvior from her really makes me question everything, I swear I feel like a dirty little secret.