Your wife is not having an affair or sleeping around. You love her. She wants to give you a kiss goodbye and tell you to have a good day, and you wonder if that's ok?
You're still worrying too much about the situation.
Keep in mind that you create what you think. And your wife SEES (thanks to Forrest for this one) what you are feeling. As long as you are wrapped up in worry, and fretting over the future possibilities, you are not the normal in control man that you need to be.
I'm not suggesting that it's easy living this way. When your wife has verbalized a desire to leave, it sucks the air out of us. But you need to find a way to take that blow and continue the fight. Otherwise you're just a one-punch sucker.
What are you trying to change about YOU and who you have become? What have you learned through introspection about yourself that is NOT pleasing, that is something you are wanting to fix/change? How are you becoming a better man, husband, father?
Stop trying to kiss her butt into staying. Stop trying to find the magic words or actions that will make her say "Oh darling, I was a fool to ever think about leaving you. We will be together forever!"
We all wanted those words.
Odd thing. The more you try to find them, the more elusive they become.
You perhaps have heard the phrase "drop the rope."
I used an analogy once that used to work for me. You're walking your beloved dog one day (on an extremely long leash). You're dog sees something that catches his attention and runs off, far from you. As time goes by, you begin to worry. What if my dog is lost? What if he can't find his way back? You start tugging on the extremely long leash.
Meanwhile, your dog has finished his long adventure and also realizes that he has wandered too far from you. He is frantically trying to find his way back to you, but his leash is all tangled up with all the stuff he ran through on his adventure.
You're pulling. He's pulling. Neither of you are getting anywhere. The two of you are NOT getting closer together.
What's the answer?
Drop the leash.
One of you has to stop pulling. Your dog sure can't disconnect himself, so you have to let him go. Eventually he will drag himself and the leash back to you.
But you have to let go.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
