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he is not always that way with me...mostly just when it's a sensitive subject or something that doesn't really mean much...
Yes, my W is the same. Problem is, in an R, couples gain intimacy through sharing these things...scary things. Thus, the R has a opportunity to grow as a result of each of us "exposing" ourselves. If we never share these things, there are far less opportunities for us to grow. This is a dynamic I'm trying to overcome with my W...and it seems a dynamic you need to overcome with your H.

You see, I firmly believe that my W went outside of our M because she thought she didn't love me (as we've all heard), couldn't REALLY connect with me, etc. Ironically enough, it was HER refusal to connect...it was her junk that got in the way of us connecting (not that I've been perfect or anything). Thus, whether it was me or OM, she still wouldn't be "connecting." The newness of her R with OM was an illusion of this connectedness...a connectedness she was missing...

Am I making any sense?

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me I want imediate resolution and or closure on a subject.
ME TOO!!! Guess we both need to work on that. As our Ses have a compulsion to avoid, we have a compulsion to "solve." Right?

Also, I wanted to chime in about your H buying stuff and you feeling as though you have to pass things by him. I seem to remember sometime back in one of your posts (it was months ago) where you indicated that you bought something just 'cuz you wanted to, and your H didn't react to it...and thought it was fine??? I would say that if there's something you want, then buy it...just buy it. I imagine that after you get a number of things your H will let you know if you've exceeded your budget, and thus, perhaps he will better communicate to you when he's going to buy something? You say you don't really lack for money. I know if I had the money to do certain things, I'd just buy them 'cuz I know it wouldn't be burden on our pocketbook. I think it's when things are tight that better communication about purchases are necessary. JMHO...

Take care.

jethro