I was reading the boards through the holidays but just didn't seem to have the time to post anything. So here is my update...
Holidays went well, very well. No emo stuff, just relaxation and good times with the kids. X asked for the kids during my 12 days with them and was actually quite civil, albeit scatter-brained about it. She kept changing her mind on when she wanted them right up to the 24 hr prior mark. Prevented me from scheduling an 11th hour trip to Missouri to get in one last duck hunt, but no biggie. Only true irritant was her hitting me up for extra money and then me seeing how much she spent on kids presents. She outspent me, but again, no biggie. Took a minor gut punch when I learned that her BF had given each of my kids gift cards for Christmas. Just a first time experience I guess.
With the New Years comes resolutions! I was oh so thrilled to be completely DONE with 2008 and decided to turn the corner across the board:
- Go beyond being civil with X and actually try to be friendly - Don't allow discussions of X to be a part of convos with old friends. If they start talking about the past, change the subject!**
I've been holding to this quite well. I still don't answer her calls if I don't want to, but normally I will. If she starts being chatty I'll just tell her I'm busy and try to get her to get her point across quickly. I've been a smartass to her (which is my normal self) instead of being very dry. She has noticed and it makes her smile.
Her having a steady BF has been a GREAT thing even though it came with an initial crisis that I had to wing with the kids. In the end though, she is not the bar hopping "you know what" that she was before. The emo feelings w/ the kids in regards to having a new man in Mom's life are trivial when compared to me worrying about the stuff they might hear/think about their Mom.
** Decided to make this a resolution when I met a woman before Christmas who had "hung out" with my X through a mutual friend on four or five occasions. She went through the "oh my god, I can't believe she gave you up for what I've seen her with" and started to get sort of explicit and graphic. It had been quite some time since I had heard stuff like that, and I told her I could really care less. Had to scratch her off the list because of that, which is a shame. She is my age, quite successful, was a college swimmer, and has a body that a 25 year old would kill for!
Beyond that, some for me:
- Get to the gym FIVE times a week, even when the kids are with me - Include weight training with my cardio. - Concentrate on abs workout! - Reign in my diet a bit and cut back on the beer so my ab workout will be noticeable. - Start looking for opportunities to have "adult interaction" when I have the kids with me. I'm not talking about having a GF around, I'm talking about more group stuff, selections on where to eat out, etc. - Take the kids on TWO vacations this year!
